Selfhosted
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I had the same experience, tried other stuff and eventually came back. Maybe I didn't have redis and Maria setup right before but it's much better for me this time around.
Totally not saying that's what was up for you though, it's not for everyone.
A few releases ago they made massive improvements in Speed. I use NC since the Split from OwnCloud and that performance Upgrade recently was truly impressive.
Mine is okay, but maybe I just have high standards. I'm using redis and postgresql, so I'm probably about as optimized as I can be. Page loads in like 2-3s, but I wish it was faster.
If there was an alternative to Nextcloud that could replace Google Docs and wasn't written in PHP, I'd switch. I don't need much, I just want to access documents and spreadsheets in the browser.
But Nextcloud is good enough.