Comic Strips

Have you SEEN inflation prices lately??? Eating off the dollar menu at mcdonalds now requires a second mortgage on your house that you obviously don't have because we're all millenials!!!

And you want to talk about not one, but TWO rotisserie chickens??? Hell, it's actually cheaper and easier to have two chicks at once!

Pssshhhh!!!! Two rotisserie chickens.....out here talkin' like the 1%ers aren't out for blood to take every god damn dollar we all have...making living and breathing financially ubsustainable....to the point the nation cheers a murderer because he represents legitimate consequences for even ONE of those asshole elitists.....I mean murder SHOULD be frowned upon by nature, but that's how fucked we are right now that we cheer even the most violent minimal change....I mean, don't get me wrong, fuck Brian Thompson. Fucker had it coming. But it's OUR reaction that is a showcase of how bad life has gotten. People dying in their homes because medical bills are more than they make in a year. And without reason mind you. This isn't an issue in other countries. You go to Canada, and you cannot FIND a citizen with medical debt. But here WE are, acting like oppressing the citizens is the only way! And NOW we're in a late stage capitolism boiling point where it really feels like we're about to revolt into an all out assault on our systems, our country, the elite, the corporations, our asshole neighbor who keeps letting his dog shit in our yard, the guy at the coffee shop who INTENTIONALLY mispronounces your name, I mean really, how hard is it to pronounce BOB without extra vowels??? It's a boring name. Bob has ALWAYS been a boring name! It's always going to BE a boring name!!! But you NEED boring names, to make the exciting names actually exciting! It's like titties. If you have some titties in your face, that's pretty sweet. But if you get greedy and have 500 titties in your face at all times, you start to lose the appriciation of your loving wife shoving your tities in your face! Now she feels unloved, and it's all because you went out and kidnapped 499 women to live in your basement to show their titties! You gotta keep it simple, ya know! Let those other women go, and play strip scrable with your wife! She's a very smart librarian, but she also likes it dirty! She WANTS to show her titties, but you gotta EARN it! You gotta beat your wifes vocabulary in a game of scrabble! Which is really hard to do! So now you've lost and you're stuck doing the dishes for the next month. Which is totally fine. You should be pitching in and helping her around the house anyways. You just like doing it this way, so you can also spend time with your wife and talk about your day as you play scrabble. You knew you were going to lose, but thats fine. You thought you were having a nice night in, but then she says she wants a divorce! Says she feels unfufilled at home, and doesn't feel like she should have to beat you at scrabble every saturday night just to get you to do the dishes. So now you're living in a motel 6 for 3 weeks while some shit falls through, and she's off partying with a bunch of high school kids. Which is kinda weird, because you're both in your 40s. To be honest, there was probably always some underlying issues she had for decades, and now she's gone crazy doing things she wanted to do 25 years ago, but couldn't since she wasn't the popular girl at school....so now the world feels at it's absolute darkest, most depressing it's ever been in your life......and you want to talk about TWO rotisserie chickens.....