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My cautionary tale is that I knew a guy from my childhood whose wife was raped in a break in. He bought a gun to keep around the house for protection, and the wife killed herself with it.
As a progressive gun owner, mental health is part of being a responsible gun owner.
If your wife is suicidal, don't have a gun she can access.
The thing about suicidal people is they don't always let you know. For those who have survived a traumatic event, the urge can be overwhelming and come from seemingly no where.
Also, is that something you would say to someone face after their wife committed suicide? "Well it's your fault because you should have known,"? That sounds incredibly insensitive and out of touch.
Not disputing any of your first paragraph.
As for your second: No, it isn't. Luckily I didn't.
Neither the unpredictability of suicide nor your implication that I would say what I said to someone completely different diminishes the necessity of the second amendment to protect people like those mentioned in the OP.
That is unfortunately not surprising. (C)PTSD can be super rough and horrible
If possible always try to preempt the attack and buy the gun before something happens, not after