this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2025
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[Migrated, see pinned post] Casual Conversation

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We moved to !casualconversation@piefed.social please look for https://lemm.ee/post/66060114 in your instance search bar

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I honestly don't understand how people socialise and make friends though gaming (lemmings.world)
submitted 11 months ago by Platypus@lemmings.world to c/casualconversation@lemm.ee
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I've been playing games for almost 3 decades and I've owned almost every Xbox, so the online factor is there and overall easily accessible but I just never got this community feel I read in some places, my most played games are probably WWE 2k14 and Tekken 7 and 8, yet I've never interacted with anyone, I don't have a headset and I don't wanna hear voice or chat while playing though, it just distracts me and I despise losing, but apparently the people connect, make friends and a few even found love while playing their favourite game.

I envy them.

Is like the only hobby I have and tbh it isolated me even more from getting any type of affection or contact.

Some people mention discord but that awful app is terrible plus people act weird there, is like the game is very secondary there and just post cringe stuff instead.

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[–] Platypus@lemmings.world 0 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I don't like that class of games

[–] tyler@programming.dev 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

So it seems like you don’t like games that involve other people but are then surprised when people meet others by playing games that involve other people. Making friends requires two things:

  1. Talking to other people
  2. Sharing a connection

You seemingly don’t want to do the first, and for the second you complain that the app is terrible and the people are weird/cringe and that the game is secondary to them.

Just to let you know, number two in my list is about a connection. Connections are not something you talk about 100% of the time, that makes it an obsession. Obsessions are fine to have but don’t expect to make long term friends that way. Connections are what bring us together and then commonalities allow us to stay friends. The reason people are talking about things other than whatever game you’re playing is because that’s what friends do. The game is the initial connection and then talking about that and getting off topic onto other subjects forges the friendships.

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 2 points 11 months ago

OP doesn't want to change. This is at least the fifth post I've seen from him where he complains about his life and then dismisses every single piece of advice he's given. I don't know what he's looking for, but it isn't solutions.