this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2026
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People like to criticize a power imbalance based on where someone is in life based off of age/maturity, because with age comes experience, and the argument is you can't have a fair and balanced relationship if the people aren't equal.
So i get that. But every aspect of society encourages it so it's kind of bullshit. In truth vurtually no relationship is 100% balanced in every way.
Someone a little older than the other? Power imbalance through life experience and maturity.
Someone a little wealthier than the other? Power imbalance through financial portfolio and personal solvency.
Someone a different race than the other? Power imbalance because of racial profiling in society, and how laws/grants/conditions may apply differently at home or abroad.
Someone healthier than the other? Power imbalance through healthcare needs medical liabilities.
Someone simply smarter than the other? Power imbalance because the smarter partner will naturally have an upper hand in the relationship.
Just because a relationship has imbalance doesn't means both people can't be into each other and take care of a joint life together.
Even the younger one can be the one who has the power over the older one (i.e., gerontophilia). It's not at all unidirectional and monolithic.
I'm way smarter than my wife, but she has a stunning EQ where mine is embarrassingly low. It balances out nicely.
Yeah, all those are really good points.
I def have a knee-jerk reaction when I see early 20's friends (let's be real: female friends) dating middle aged folks (again, being real, middle aged males) to be wary about the relationship. But intellectually, the conclusion I come to is that its fine.
I do specifically agree that the other people focusing on an age based power imbalance feels like they'd also be calling for you to only date in your income bracket, and then also to only date someone who's as physically fit as you, which then leads to well you should only date someone of your race and/or ethnicity.
Something, something, slippery slope argument. But it is logically comparable.
I seriously considered dating a pretty 26-yo when I was 52. She really seemed to like me, but the 3 very young children just put me off. At my age most women, if they could and wanted to, had had kids, but 3 tiny ones? Gah! Couldn't do it, met my 52-yo wife shortly after.
The only reason why I don't like that "I like mature men" is that, hell, is hard to find a partner of my same age! Lol
But is just that, it's up to them the decision, and hopely they'll be happy with it.
Deleted, wrong reply, sry
But yea I agree.
what people love to do is judge other people and their relationships. it's drama.