this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2026
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So basically yesterday I managed to meet with a few queer/trans people in my city and the next day comes and suddenly the group got quiet. No mention of making another one or anything! Me and me partner were the youngest there and maybe it's the stigma of the relationship or just my age. I know it's one meetup but people judge harshly and I blame myself for not being enough of a person to be interesting. I will try again but this time I won't be pushy :3 Mood: confused

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[โ€“] molehill_siesta@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Maybe be a little 'pushy'?

It's been one day, people's social energy could be low after the meetup, they might not know how much you enjoyed it, if it's not a group that regularly gets together they could be out of the habit, etc etc.

I would message the group saying how much I enjoyed/appreciated/whatever the meetup, and either ask or suggest the next meeting.

Over the longer term, if you're always the one pushing for a meetup and people are resistant; or if you suggest a few times a second meeting and everyone avoids talking about it, then sure, there's likely some social mismatch happening.

(Just my thoughts from an autistic perspective - if you and they are neurotypical and the vibes were off, then you know best, and I wish you good luck finding a better community fit)

[โ€“] Phnelope@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 4 weeks ago

Thank you, it's good advice, I'll let it simmer till next week and will see. Sadly my country has a difficulty of community (more like a lack of as a commenter pointed out) and that's why I was living solo for my pre hrt phase.