Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Rainbow Railroad // A non-profit international humans rights organization helping at risk LGBTQ+ people relocate to safety.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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Gender is complicated. And not everyone feels or expresses it the same. And yes, you can feel different than you present. For example internally I am agender. I feel no particular connection to either binary gender or anything in between. But I greatly prefer to present feminine, be emotionally close to feminine people, and I had some physical genital dysphoria.
It took me a really long time to figure out all of it because we're told it's all very simple and just dependent on what genitals you had when you were born, or if that was indeterminate, what the doctor and/or your parents decided. And then our entire personality and how we interact with society will just automatically fit that one thing.
Deconstructing gender helped me a lot. Separating what I feel, how I want to present, and what physical things were bothering me. Honestly, I wasn't even too keen on hormone therapy though I knew that was often requires by insurance in order to get bottom surgery even though gate keeping WPATH recommendations even have exceptions for that now. But I actually ended up liking having breasts and the emotional changes in the end. I had a hard time calling myself "trans" as I didn't want to take up someone else's space. But that was silly. Anything outside of extreme binary of your AGAB is under the trans umbrella. And for presentation, I did start wearing makeup and presenting less masculine, but originally used they/them pronouns and just tries to transition away from masculinity rather than towards femininity. It's a difficult line to find though and I ended up really liking being more feminine and chose to switch to she/they pronouns and pursue facial feminization and a few other things. I'm still on waiting lists for those.
As for age, it's definitely not too late. I really started "transitioning" a few years older than you and I'm now almost 50 and just had the bottom surgery a year ago. Of course, health can determine if you can surgically transition later in life, but the non surgical stuff is mostly still possible at any age.
Anyway, my point is, there is no "right way" or even any specific goal that all people under the trans umbrella should always have. Transitioning to an extreme binary is not at all required. Do what is beat for you. You are 100% valid.