this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2026
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Can we also talk about how his #1 song is promoting heterosexuality? More than 80 % of children who heard Shape of You in the 2010s now identify as heterosexual, and it continues to air on the radio and show up on streaming services without as much as a content warning. What the fuck?
One of those comments that's so ridiculous you can't tell if the person is trolling or whether they're serious
Haven't you seen all the man × woman romantic pairings in the media and now even IRL? Now even kindergarteners are playfully kissing other kids of the opposite sex! It's a pandemic! /s
My mom and dad have been doing this schtick for fucking years, by now. It's like, we get it! Enough! It's barely even funny anymore!
So you're just going to downplay the dramatic rise in shapely women post-that song?
It takes a while to grow those kinds of women.
I bet these are still remnants of "Baby got Back" by MC Hammer.
This comment... I can't touch this.
Well, heroin-chique is back in fashion again.
You're right! Before that song women were all amorphous
Finally some grade A shitposts.
Satire?
Also, his song "sapphire" celebrated and supported India and now there's more than a billion Indians.
Eating bread has made me a hetero!
Sad to see the many ways the condition can be triggered... Support our class action lawsuit against Sheeran and if we win, you'll have a precedent to point to in your legal feud with the bakery.
Gurl, you gotta go gluten free!
Gluten-free bread is still bread, filthy grainmouth
I support his lifestyle but I don't want it rubbed in my face!
People today are like "just let straight boys and girls express themselves" but how could we, now that we know heterosexuality is the leading cause of teen pregnancies?! I don't think it makes sense to research a cure though, most heterosexuals won't take it: we should encourage them to only engage with their fantasies in safe ways.
Name checks out