this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2026
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Murdered by Words
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Responses that completely destroy the original argument in a way that leaves little to no room for reply - a targeted, well-placed response to another person, organization, or group of people.
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I remember in the 1990s when I was fairly young, and I was having a discussion with other people, and I kept saying the Republican Party was a fascist party, and I remember one of the people in the discussion taking me aside afterward and telling me that I couldn't say that(not because it wasn't true, but) because people would get offended.
I remember after the September 11 attack, that they named the department for the country's security "The Department of Homeland Security" and I had extreme concerns about their intentions by naming it that. I could see what they were moving toward, even back then.
I have a hypothesis that as society we're too polite. We don't tell people they're being assholes because that's uncomfortable, so they continue being assholes without appropriate social pressure.
My FiL intentionally takes advantage of this in people. His family try to give him the benefit of the doubt that he is just "unaware", but I have been in situations where 1) I point out his imposition on other people to him, 2) he continues to engage in said behavior, 3) I subsequently call him out on it publicly, and 4) he calls me disloyal.
Of course he's an evangelical MAGA voter with misogynist leanings.
Which disproves the idea above yours that simply being curt and telling people they’re being assholes or inconsiderate or wrong or evil doesn’t work. It doesn’t matter to them. Being ostracized doesn’t work. Imprisoning them doesn’t work.
But you can reduce their numbers by improving the situations that allowed their ideas to develop and spread or be preyed upon by bad actors.
If enough people are against him, he will relent. Social pressure and/ or ostracization does work on him. He won't resort to violence or direct confrontation to try to get away with his inconsiderate BS, but if he thinks
then he will (continue to) try to get away with it. He has no baseline conscientiousness of other people, even people he supposedly loves.
You’re describing narcissism and possibly borderline personality disorder
Well, perhaps! I wouldn't be surprised if he got an official diagnosis, but I'm an engineer, not a psychologist. So it won't be from me.
I was just trying to agree with the original commenter, because when I call him on his crap publicly, it keeps him more in line. His own relatives seem relieved when I'm around because I will force him to be a little more courteous (e.g., telling him to clean up items behind himself instead of allowing/expecting the women in his family to do it). Their non-confrontational culture just enables him.
Kinda like that quote about confusing peace with quiet.
Hot take:
This is why the French culture is the platonic ideal. The average French person is a feral chain smoking time bomb and any they have no time for bullshit. Cutting in line in England will earn you a lot of judgemental stares, same thing in France will get you yelled at or stabbed depending on how the weather is.
The French government would love to be a lot fashier than it is, but it fears its citizens with good reason.
"Sorry the truth is uncomfortable. Maybe don't be fascists?"