this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2026
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Maybe it's a location/age thing, but I missed out on all that. I always made it clear up front what I wanted, and they'd often indicate they're on board initially - until things got serious or an opportunity actually presented itself, then the insecurities came out and suddenly it's all "Am I not enough for you!?"
In the latest case she really had me convinced, even though an opportunity never arose to put it to the test. Told me she was bi, said she wanted to see me with other women, said she was cool with an open marriage - everything I wanted to hear. It was only after marriage & kids that it became apparent she was NOT actually ok with it.
Funny that you're having the opposite problem. Grass is always greener...
Ok I'm laughing my ass off over here. You impregnated this woman multiple times but now you're mad she won't open the relationship?
So you never did any of these things you say are foundational....before having multiple children together lol.
Ok well, you're cooked because the 1 circumstance where monogamy would be preferable for a sexually adventurous woman is......drumroll.....postpartum trying to survive raising babies. She can probably hardly deal with your ass right now much less other men or your relationship dreams.
Go take care of your kids. You will pass go again in , at most, 18 years or upon the breakup with your baby mama.
They're known as 'unicorns' for a reason. Where I live you aren't exactly tripping over women that want to be a mistress or join a threesome. My single friends sometimes have 'friends with benefits', but they are other singles - they aren't fucking around with couples or married guys.
We met in our 30s and I wasn't going to put our life on hold until the chance arose to test it. She genuinely seemed to want it - the constant, unprompted, dirty talk about me with other women when we were intimate really had me sold.
I know I'm cooked now. I was just commenting on how much less cooked I would be, in the same exact situation, if I were gay.
Lots of people have this big chasm between fantasy and reality that they just can't get over
Seems similar to mine as well! I always said I wanted to have a threesome. She was like that could work one day because she did have an interest with trying things with another girl as well. Win win! Been married 15 years now and this has never happened lol. It's still talked about and we did finally try going to a strip club together as a trial run a few years ago. It actually turned out great surprising enough! As for the actual deed? Im not holding my breath as we continue to get older, but I can still dream!
Try a swing bar.