this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2026
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cross-posted from: https://slrpnk.net/post/40470051

The only reason I keep Facebook is for unhinged stuff like this

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[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 32 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Just about everything has been turned into a political issue in the last decade. Medicine (not Healthcare... modern medicines/drugs themselves), beer brands, avocados on toast, beef, eggs, children's films/books (that's not new, I guess, just hitting new levels recently), gas stoves, holidays, black pilots, etc.

[–] mursejoy@lemmy.zip 28 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I’m convinced that conservatives wake up in the morning and just choose something to be mad at. Green MnM losing her high heels, gas stoves, Starbucks, avocado toast, etc.

[–] expr@programming.dev 10 points 3 days ago

It's not that far from the truth, it's just the thing they pick is what they saw on Fox News that morning.

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Hey man even you have to admit the green M&M was way more sexy in heels.

[–] damnthefilibuster@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

Please don’t have wet dreams about a chocolate candy, green colored or otherwise.

[–] Cris_Citrus@piefed.zip 24 points 4 days ago (3 children)

This is my friend's very most favorite internet article

https://www.phillymag.com/news/2018/08/11/mayonnaise-industry-millennials/

It is about how millennials are ungrateful, unpatriotic mayonnaise haters. It does not appear to a joke article. It fills her with so much joy lol.

[–] Enkrod@feddit.org 15 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Holy shit 🤣

My son Jake, who’s 25, eats mayo. He’s a practical young man who works in computers and adores macaroni salad. He’s a good son. I also have a daughter. She was a women’s and gender studies major in college. Naturally, she loathes mayonnaise.

[–] manxu@piefed.social 9 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I think the tragedy is the mom not realizing that the mayo on the shelves today is for the most part only a distant relative of the "oil and egg yolk emulsion" she used to eat as a child.

That is, Millennials are justly rejecting a 100% chemical mix supposed to taste like a natural food, but whose ingredient list looks like a who's who of food processing science, while it makes her fondly remember something that spoiled quickly if not eaten after opening. You can't blame the young'uns for not having your memories.

[–] angband@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

https://www.webstaurantstore.com/documents/nutrition/999hlmn5308_nutrition.pdf

Hellman's mayo does have a chemical preservative. "Natural flavors" is a bit suspect, too.

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn.shopify.com%2Fs%2Ffiles%2F1%2F0149%2F3668%2Fproducts%2FReducedFat-Vegenaise.jpg%3Fv%3D1440685046&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=8fbe35872d7535be58d70da84a300e8f8053652ea8507e681d5b5e6c22084527

Veganaise is full of highly processed and vat-grown ingedients, just like "ben 'n jerry's" has been trending.

Most restaurant stuff is full of compromises.

I think the 800 pound gorilla is cost vs quality, not nutrition. All those restaurants have shit quality, mcdonald's-like production lines, and are a suck-ass eating experience.

[–] baines@lemmy.cafe 1 points 4 days ago

kewpie japanese mayo

[–] Cris_Citrus@piefed.zip 2 points 3 days ago

That is one of the absolute best parts lmao

[–] MarcomachtKuchen@feddit.org 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I'll join your friend. This is allso my favorite article now.

Lmao i really loved this part

They’re also shunning their parents’ preferred restaurants — Applebee’s, Ruby Tuesday, TGI Fridays — to seek out more authentic fare. Old-school eateries, in turn, are diversifying in their search for new customers. Just this year, Red Lobster rolled out a waffles-and-lobster option, and Red Robin launched a vegan burger. You don’t put mayo on a vegan burger.

Other favorites are

I’m not part of the elderly mayo masses; I’m turkey and Swiss on ciabatta with tzatziki, chipotle spread and a little basil pesto. That’s who I am, dammit. My sandwich, my self.

This is bullshit. This attitude comes to you from young people who willingly slurp down eight kazillion kinds of yogurt, not to mention raw fish and pork belly and, yo, detergent pods, so don’t talk to me about mayonnaise.

I thought young people today were supposed to be all about inclusion — about kindness and compassion and making other people feel welcome. So how about you include a little mayo in your picnic fare?

Just because something is old and white doesn’t mean it’s obsolete. Look at Shakespeare. Look at me.

[–] AwesomeLowlander@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

That was hilarious.

Do other condiments have pale imitators like Miracle Whip and Just Mayo and Vegenaise? I don’t think so!

Author's never stepped foot into an Asian grocery, and it shows.

That said, I feel reasonably certain it's meant to be tongue in cheek humour.

[–] Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 days ago

There are simply too many quotable lines in this article. Amazing

A movie called "The Mayo Conspiracy" won the Best Comedy Feature at the 2015 World’s Independent Film Festival.

Im going to have to watch this film however

[–] Cris_Citrus@piefed.zip 2 points 3 days ago

Don't say that, I don't want it to be 😭

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 3 days ago

Yeah those things all just mysteriously "became" political.

We'll never be able to truly know who made "black pilots" political 🙄