this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2026
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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 13 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

Why would a 40 year old lie about being 55? What a strange accusation hahah

I’d believe people are lying about being older if they’re really young on dating apps.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

I mistyped, I meant to write 25 years younger.

But why would somebody lie from roughly 30 to present as 55?

Well really, the pattern that I thought I'd noticed was that people would just bullshit their age by a round number, 5, 10, 20, etc years, in any direction.

An obfuscation/privacy tactic more so than like, a catfishing tactic.

The other thing at play here is that ... I was genuinely baffled, in disbelief.

I literally have never seen a 55 yo woman in as good of shape as she is, she's in better shape than most women I've known who actually are in the age bracket I thought she was in.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 0 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

I literally have never seen a 55 yo woman in as good of shape as she is, she’s in better shape than most women I’ve known who actually are in the age bracket I thought she was in.

Sigh.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

???

Is... is this a problem for you, in some way?

That I have a body type preference, on a website explicitly designed for people to seek out specific consensual sexual experiences?

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works -5 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) (2 children)

You've literally never seen a 55 year old woman in shape? I don't believe you.

Look up a list of celebrity women who are currently 55 years old.

This idea that women are decrepit and ugly and old at 55 is asinine.

Edit: Y'all really going to believe that women like Salma Hayek and Cate Blanchett don't exist?

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

It's funny, because you can just go to the gym and meet people who are both old and in shape. In fact, you're more likely to meet people who are both old and in shape at the gym because... older people who are in shape are the ones who go to the gym in the first place.

[–] 7101334@lemmy.world 0 points 1 hour ago (2 children)

I'm not single

or 55

but if I were single at any age, I would never approach a woman at a gym. Idk. Feels only a small step better than approaching them at work. "Captive audience" type shit, it would feel gross to me.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 1 points 19 minutes ago

but if I were single at any age, I would never approach a woman at a gym.

I mean, more power to you. I'm mostly just saying "Women over 55 who are fit exist, you can find them at gyms all over the country." I'm not suggesting you need to hit on any of them.

That said, I can say from personal experience that people flirting with each other at the gym is incredibly common. I've flirted. I've been flirted. I even dated a Pilates instructor that I met there.

Feels only a small step better than approaching them at work.

Lot of flirting happens in offices, too.

“Captive audience” type shit

You meet people where you both are. But there's a tactful way to approach people and a crass way. Don't go running up to grab someone by the pussy. But smiles and small talk don't hold anyone hostage.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 hour ago

They're not talking about approaching women at the gym.

They're talking about observing women that are over 55 and in shape. Because they exist. Despite popular belief.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Exactly.

Literally one can go to the grocery store and find a woman who is over 50 and in shape. I would bet money.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I mean, fit people still shop. It's just going to be much more of a crap shoot.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 hours ago

Yeah, I have to wonder if people who assert that it's shocking to find a woman over 50 who is in shape and attractive actually ever leave their houses.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 0 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

honestly it's more disingenuous and sexist to pretend that every 55 year old woman looks like Salma Hayek and Cate Blanchett, velma

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

The other thing at play here is that … I was genuinely baffled, in disbelief.

I literally have never seen a 55 yo woman in as good of shape as she is, she’s in better shape than most women I’ve known who actually are in the age bracket I thought she was in.

I'm responding to the assertion that a 55 year old woman in shape is enough to leave someone baffled and in disbelief because they've literally never seen a 55yo woman in as good of shape

I'm not saying every 55yo woman looks like Salma Hayek, but by existing they are disproving this original comment.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Why would a 40 year old lie about being 55?

So, on Tinder at least, there's something I read about people under 40 being sorted and matched differently than people over 40. The end result being folks in higher tiers of service getting access to younger matches. But because it's a semi-known exploit, you end up with people lying about their age to manipulate the match set.

You also get a weird phenomenon such that you see the same list of people showing up over and over again on your feed, until you cross the dateline and suddenly they all vanish.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 hours ago

Yeah I've heard of that. Usually it's a person in their 20s that wants access to older people though, not 40 year olds trying to trick 55 year olds.