627
he might be using me to fulfill his younger woman fantasy, but I’m also using him to fulfill my daddy fantasy, so we’re even
(lemmy.world)
this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2026
627 points (97.4% liked)
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Perhaps inverting all elements of this...
So, I finally made a fetlife account. I'm roughly 35, M.
Looking through people in my area.
See a fairly wide range of people, but notice that... a fair number of accounts are seemingly obviously lying about their age. In either direction, sometimes.
Follow a few accounts.
Surprisingly, one follows me back within like an hour or two ... long story short, this woman has a fantastic body, but claims she's 55. Isn't showing her face on her profile, totally makes sense as a privacy measure, also leads me to think its more likely she's listing a fake age, as another privacy measure.
I say hello type words, including basically 'theres no way you're 55 right? you look to be 15 years younger.'
Fucking nope, nope I am wrong, she actually is 55, and is just in incredible shape.
So I guess now I am entirely unintentionally into MILFs. Still think she looks great!
Did you also notice how many people are from Antarctica and 99yrs old? So far as the "no face pic" I would bet she has a lot of hidden - for friends only - pics that will have her face.
For whatever reason, at least in my area, no, people don't seem to do that. I haven't seen a one that used that kind of anonymization.
It was fairly common in my area, and was a running joke. Just search Antarctica you will see a lot of people there, the people I knew were forthcoming in person it was just to stop random people messaging them
Yeah, I've seen a fair number of people do that or similar on Steam accounts, but... yeah at least so far on fetlife, haven't seen that.
Why would a 40 year old lie about being 55? What a strange accusation hahah
I’d believe people are lying about being older if they’re really young on dating apps.
I mistyped, I meant to write 25 years younger.
But why would somebody lie from roughly 30 to present as 55?
Well really, the pattern that I thought I'd noticed was that people would just bullshit their age by a round number, 5, 10, 20, etc years, in any direction.
An obfuscation/privacy tactic more so than like, a catfishing tactic.
The other thing at play here is that ... I was genuinely baffled, in disbelief.
I literally have never seen a 55 yo woman in as good of shape as she is, she's in better shape than most women I've known who actually are in the age bracket I thought she was in.
Sigh.
???
Is... is this a problem for you, in some way?
That I have a body type preference, on a website explicitly designed for people to seek out specific consensual sexual experiences?
You've literally never seen a 55 year old woman in shape? I don't believe you.
Look up a list of celebrity women who are currently 55 years old.
This idea that women are decrepit and ugly and old at 55 is asinine.
Edit: Y'all really going to believe that women like Salma Hayek and Cate Blanchett don't exist?
Not in person, not in real life, not 'in my local area and looking to mingle', no.
I don't regularly... go to gyms where 55 yo women are, and ... I think all of my intimate partners have been within a max of +/- 3 years of my own age.
I'm not trying to nor did I say that all older women are decrepit and ugly.
I'm saying that generally speaking, women (as well as men), kinda tend to let themselves go a bit, as they get older... and honestly there is nothing wrong with that, that is completely normal. Getting old hurts, it makes staying in shape hard... it would be ridiculous to have basically the same general physique expectations for both a 30 yo and a 55 yo woman, or man.
What is very not normal is to actually encounter a 55 yo women in approximately similar physique condition as ~55 yo Selma Hayek or Cate Blanchette.
It is so not normal to me, that I literally didn't believe it.
The internet and celebrities != real life.
55 years old isn't really that old though.
You don't notice women in their 50s in your day to day life at all? They're all fat or otherwise disabled?
Like no, this is still mind blowing to me that a single 55 year old woman in shape left you "genuinely baffled and in disbelief"
Look I don't know what to tell you... I have no reason to lie about this.
Yeah, in my life, most older people tend to let themselves go.
Yes, most older people I've known as friends or family or regular acquaintances or coworkers are somewhat to significantly more fat than they were in their 30s, and yes, by the time they hit 55, many of them also have at least one somewhat to very serious kind of disability.
Maybe I'm just from a poorer millieu than you, where people don't tend to have the money or time to afford good food and healthcare and spare time to excercise?
I mean, I live in the US. There's a lack of good food and healthcare and spare time here more than most.
I want to challenge you to take a real look around the next time you're in like a grocery store or somewhere public. There are a lot of women in their 50s doing just fine and looking great and they're not celebrities.
Again, finding out fit women in their 50s exist shouldn't leave you genuinely baffled and in disbelief.
... I'm autistic and thus abnormally aware of patterns and details, basically all the time, everywhere, by default.
What I have described to you as my reality, as my lived experience, is accurate.
To me, a 55 yo woman in ... yeah, basically as good of shape as a world famous celebrity actress? EDIT: (of similar age)
Exceptionally uncommon.
About the same level of exceptionally uncommon as a random 55 yo man being in the same shape / physique as say, Liam Neeson or maybe Daniel Craig or Idris Elba.
Can you really just not accept that another person's lived experience could... significantly differ from your own?
Just being on FetLife will show you plenty of women in their 50s in pretty good shape.
I don't understand why you believe that women like this don't exist other than celebrities (which was like pulling teeth to get you to admit, I might add). I'm aware that most of society believes that older women are useless and thus invisible to the male gaze, but Jesus Christ, dude - is it really true to this extent for you?
Edit: Kisses to my stalker today, thanks for the downvotes! I love that you take the time to dutifully go through my post history and downvote each comment. Shows you really love me <3
It's funny, because you can just go to the gym and meet people who are both old and in shape. In fact, you're more likely to meet people who are both old and in shape at the gym because... older people who are in shape are the ones who go to the gym in the first place.
I'm not single
or 55
but if I were single at any age, I would never approach a woman at a gym. Idk. Feels only a small step better than approaching them at work. "Captive audience" type shit, it would feel gross to me.
I mean, more power to you. I'm mostly just saying "Women over 55 who are fit exist, you can find them at gyms all over the country." I'm not suggesting you need to hit on any of them.
That said, I can say from personal experience that people flirting with each other at the gym is incredibly common. I've flirted. I've been flirted. I even dated a Pilates instructor that I met there.
Lot of flirting happens in offices, too.
You meet people where you both are. But there's a tactful way to approach people and a crass way. Don't go running up to grab someone by the pussy. But smiles and small talk don't hold anyone hostage.
They're not talking about approaching women at the gym.
They're talking about observing women that are over 55 and in shape. Because they exist. Despite popular belief.
Exactly.
Literally one can go to the grocery store and find a woman who is over 50 and in shape. I would bet money.
I mean, fit people still shop. It's just going to be much more of a crap shoot.
Yeah, I have to wonder if people who assert that it's shocking to find a woman over 50 who is in shape and attractive actually ever leave their houses.
honestly it's more disingenuous and sexist to pretend that every 55 year old woman looks like Salma Hayek and Cate Blanchett, velma
I'm responding to the assertion that a 55 year old woman in shape is enough to leave someone baffled and in disbelief because they've literally never seen a 55yo woman in as good of shape
I'm not saying every 55yo woman looks like Salma Hayek, but by existing they are disproving this original comment.
So, on Tinder at least, there's something I read about people under 40 being sorted and matched differently than people over 40. The end result being folks in higher tiers of service getting access to younger matches. But because it's a semi-known exploit, you end up with people lying about their age to manipulate the match set.
You also get a weird phenomenon such that you see the same list of people showing up over and over again on your feed, until you cross the dateline and suddenly they all vanish.
Yeah I've heard of that. Usually it's a person in their 20s that wants access to older people though, not 40 year olds trying to trick 55 year olds.