this post was submitted on 25 May 2026
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So I don't risk fucking up thermodynamics next time I drop acid and making atoms stop being a thing.
I mean I’ve seen myself “functioning” when I’m a tiny bit high. No way I’m trusting myself with that much power. “Oops, instead of teleporting those guys on the surface, I halfway burried them”
Even shape shifting is dangerous but the worst thing I risk is getting blood everywhere when I flip you off turning my middle finger into a dick thicker than my hand
I would be fuckin impressed though, when that thing fthwamps on the table.
Can't hold game controllers without an erection not practical
I mean the dexterity would be literally fucked up, but imagine smashing your literal dick on a finishing move, while 1v1ing your homie
It would be my middle finger for flipping people off what would I even press with that
Triggers?
How simultaneously large and small are your hands
It ain't the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean 😉
I'm more concerned as to how upsetting this might be to modern understandings of physics
If your shapeshifting doesn't break thermodynamics, then you're not able to shapeshift into anything smaller or larger than yourself.
(Though, perhaps, you could stretch it a little by 'cheating' it -- become larger by shifting into a hollow shape filled with air, become smaller by shifting into a shape filled with very dense material. But there are limits to that -- too big, and you'll float away like a balloon; too small and the ground/floor beneath you won't be able to withstand the pressure, so you'll sink down into it -- and you'll never be able to change your overall weight/mass, which might compromise your disguise in some situations.)
Simple. When you shapeshift, your extra mass gets shunted into Z-space. When you need extra mass, mass is borrowed from other masses in Z-space.
Shapeshift into a black hole!