this post was submitted on 25 May 2026
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When you become a pen where do you put the money? Checkmate shapeshifters.
Yeah, but then you'd really know what it sounds like when a hand grenade goes off in a bank vault.
You can stuff a roll of hundos up any of your holes and when you turn into a pen, the money stays inside you, so if you're willing to sodomize yourself, you can make like five thousand dollars a pop. I've done this forty-six thousand times and I am buying my third house with cash as we speak!
The best part? You don't need superpowers to shove cash up your butt. Realize your dreams today!
Wait, this is about superpowers? "Turning into a pen" is a sex move in my colloquial vocabulary.