this post was submitted on 12 May 2026
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Change to another fruit then. Paint watermelons.
I wanna see a kindergartener pull up to snack time with a whole ass watermelon
How about just a slice of the ass watermelon instead?
There are small softball sized watermelons too
But you still need a pretty decent knife to cut into it. Which a kindergartner shouldn't have at school. Or they could bash it on the table till it breaks open I guess. I'm sure the teachers and janitors will love that.
Naturally, pack a big knife with the melon. The teacher will change tune pretty quick if the kid has a knife.
That's a good point. Never just bring a watermelon to a kindergarten knife fight.
A guy in my highschool did that as a joke
Brought a watermelon in his bag, busted it out at lunch and just stabbed it with a spoon, cracked it open, and started scooping it onto a lunch tray.
The closest teacher sent him to the office, threw away the watermelon and they tried to give him detention, but I guess a parent called the school and yelled at the principal for being ridiculous.
When I worked in a produce department when I was a teen, there was a brand of watermelon called "Senior Sandia" (Mister Watermelon). So when we got that brand in I'd usually cut out a face on one like a friendly pumpkin and put him on display. Sometimes he'd get a hat n shit if I had one handy. My boss was just confused at these displays until I told pointed out the brand. I was then banned from giving Mister Watermelon the life he deserved.