this post was submitted on 06 May 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 157 points 2 days ago (15 children)

If all it does is vibrate why does it need a firmware update?

[–] disorderly@lemmy.world 72 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The incredibly silly true answer is that the software industry's love for "deploy early, deploy often" has led to all embedded devices shipping with over-the-air (OTA) update support even when it barely makes sense. The earliest units of a given product run will ship with a minimally viable product build that has lots of bugs, but solid OTA.

Fun anecdote: I had a TV backlight die after about 3 years, and the root cause was a shitty embedded app that incorrectly regulated the voltage for the LED strips.

[–] bright@piefed.social 26 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I don't think that actually answers OP's question. If all it does is vibrate then it doesn't need any software. It presumably just has a single button that turns vibration on/off and maybe cycles through vibration levels. A dumb circuit without even a single chip in it could do that.

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 25 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Ah, but what if you want it to vibrate to the beat of your favorite song? Did you think about that?

[–] errer@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)
[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

A vibrating poop knife might be the next big thing.

[–] WoodScientist@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

I mean, it would prevent sticking....

[–] disorderly@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm just guessing here, but it's probably for battery management and wireless charging, which are tricky problems you're not gonna solve with a 555. I generally trust EEs to not put MCUs where they aren't needed, so this must have been the cheapest/easiest option.

[–] osanna@lemmy.vg 2 points 1 day ago

What does marvel have to do with this???

[–] mech@feddit.org 2 points 1 day ago

It obviously needs specific vibration settings for each food you want to cut.
And a mic and camera for some reason.

[–] HK65@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Because it's cheaper to buy a commodity chip and program it rather than get an application specific chip made.

[–] bright@piefed.social 4 points 1 day ago

As i said in my original post, "A dumb circuit without even a single chip in it could do that." Vibration units can literally just respond to voltage. It's how electrical devices worked before chips, like old pinball machines and old radios. It works just like how a standing fan works - there's a mechanical motor, and you literally just need to attach plain copper wires onto the motor's contact points and stick the other ends of the wire into the slots of a wall power outlet.

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

You don't need a chip in a vibration circuit. Hell a potentiometer is more than sufficient to give you different levels of vibration

[–] wabasso@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I don’t know why I’m replying this deep to play devils advocate for some stupid knife, but I could see a situation where you haven’t completed the research on optimal frequency and ship it out while that’s ongoing. Maybe the window of optimal frequency is narrow enough, or unknown enough, that it’d be difficult to calibrate a potentiometer such that the end user could find that ideal point.

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[–] Tja@programming.dev 0 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I'd love to see a chip less BMS for lipos.

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca -5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)
[–] Tja@programming.dev 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca -5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah, buddy because your specialized knowledge is the only way things work...

Seriously.

[–] Tja@programming.dev 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's in no way specialized, that's the point.

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca -5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

And completely irrelevant. Circuits do not require chips to operate. And you have created a scenario to feel superior.

Fucking typical computer nerd.

[–] Tja@programming.dev 0 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Yes, batteries are exclusive to computer nerds. Marvelous.

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca -5 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

The fact you used shorthand to talk about a specific design means you're insecure about your knowledge.

Buds, stop sniffing your own farts, and pay attention to what was being said.

[–] Tja@programming.dev 0 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

What shorthand? It's all standard and has been commonplace for decades. If you are uninformed and feel intimidated by the simplest of names, is not my problem. You also whine about people using "car" instead of "automobile"?

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca -5 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Buddy, I don't know what you're trying to prove or why you are so offended by the statement "vibration circuits don't need chips".

Fuck, what do you even think I was talking about?

[–] Tja@programming.dev 0 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

I'm not offended, it's just too simplistic, and therefore wrong.

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca -1 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (2 children)

Pathetic attempts, talking about degsign features when they weren't relevant. Keep sniffing your own farts buds because I was never talking about that.

You made that scenario.

[–] Tja@programming.dev 0 points 21 minutes ago (1 children)

Yeah, batteries are a conspiracy theory, you are right!

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 1 points 16 minutes ago

And where was I talking about batteries fucknuts?

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 2 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

@mister_heyman@ttrpg.network hey there, you still upset that I bad mouthed a Chinese company? @eerongal@ttrpg.network

[–] Brkdncr@lemmy.world 69 points 2 days ago

How would it vibrate without wpa3 support?

[–] mycodesucks@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It doesn't...

But the kind of people who are impressed by a vibrating knife are also likely to be impressed by the ability to update firmware. They don't know what firmware DOES, they just know it's modern.

[–] akwd169@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago

I can hear this image

[–] KraeuterRoy@feddit.org 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Don't you think it would vastly improve your stabbing experience if the knife could vibrate the Halloween theme while you're at it?

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I’d want it to whistle a spooky tune like a theremin.

Value-add apps cost extra

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

maybe scientists discovered new frequencies?

[–] hardcoreufo@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago

Yup its vibrating in the wigglehertz range.

[–] Big_Boss_77@fedinsfw.app 8 points 2 days ago

Microphone was a little muffled, fw update supposed to clear that up.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

To show you ads, of course. Duh.

[–] msage@programming.dev 1 points 1 day ago

To fix all the RCE bugs, of course!

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 day ago

That’s what she said.

[–] Tetragrade@leminal.space 2 points 1 day ago

data gathering

[–] SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Different frequency and patterns provide different results.

[–] turtlesareneat@piefed.ca 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

And some of those frequencies need to be paywalled, for the customer's enjoyment.

[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago

Sense of pride and accomplishment

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 1 points 1 day ago

It has a battery, so circuity exists for that.

they updated it so it also vibrates in rgb

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