this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2026
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Story time.
My wife is an optometrist.
One day a patient called the office because he had foreign body in his eye. No big deal. They had equipment for removing a foreign body from the eye safely. The patient asked how much the exam was. They told him (I think it was around $70) and he said he'd think about it.
He called up a little while later and said he got it out. He asked if he still needed to come in, and they explained that he still should have his eye checked to make sure it wasn't injured.
When he got there, my wife asked him how he got it out.
He said he used the edge of a razor blade to pick it out of his eye. He said he does it all the time.
If the thought of putting the edge of a razor blade against your eye is not horrifying enough, remember that when you're working on your own eye, you don't have depth perception.
What the actual fuck 😱
Every year or five I’ll get a “sclera blister” that feels like a honking grain of sand in my eye. Sure, I’ve thought about taking a pair of tweezers to tear the dome of that blister off, but I have always been squicked like crazy because I can’t properly judge distances that close to the cornea. Corner of my eye or on the rim of the eye lid itself is difficult enough, but anywhere directly on the sclera that’s close to the cornea is definitely no-go land for me.
"all the time" excuse me... I perform surgery on my self all the time but I can't even put eye drops in without my eyes locking down the second the drop falls from the bottle.
Eye drop tip:
Pull your lower eyelid down to create a little pocket and put the drop in your eyelid.