Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, toxicity and dog-whistling are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
I feel like if you're not going to use an app, you should focus on real life. Join meetups. Join a local sports team. Posting on a forum isn't going to be more effective than that.
lots of people have active social lives and still find zero dating opportunities. usually because the people they would find attractive, are not involved in those social activities.
I've never met an attractive woman in any meetup, sports even, hobby, or volunteering thing I have ever done. I met lots of them via dating apps though, and those women think my meetups, sports, hobbies, and volunteering are stupid and unattractive.
hell, back when i was active on reddit years ago, i regularly random PMs from women who were interested in me there.
IRL I get absolutely nothing except the occasional random weirdo woman who approaches me at a bar and starts telling me what stupid jerk I am for reading books or having a cat and then acts butthurt I don't want to bang her after she has 'bantered' with me.
And I'm not alone in that. Most of my single male friends and my single female friends, are living in totally different universes and they have zero interest in each other. Most of them either don't date at all, or are perpetually chasing the wrong people who treat them like crap, or are hung up on some ex from years ago.
This sounds extremely implausible. Those activities should have a wide, fairly random, selection of attractiveness. Sports might favor people more physically fit, which is positively correlated with common ideas of attractiveness.
Maybe you're using some non-standard or idiosyncratic standard of attractive?
On the other hand, maybe you live in hell?
Self-created incel-hell it sounds like...
The attractive people involved are already coupled.
physical fitness has nothing to do with attractiveness. lots of unattractive people are super fit, and lots of attractive people are unfit.
I live in a city full of wealthy entitled people, who think they are superior to others by birthright and what college they went to, and who won't talk to you if you don't work for a fortune 500 company.
It is also extremely implausible that this is 100% true. Unless you were going to events that select for couples, you're going to find a mix of relationship states.
People generally find healthiness attractive. Fitness is correlated with healthiness, and this somewhat correlated with attractiveness. Tastes differ. But generally, people are not going to find "can't run up the stairs without wheezing" more attractive than "can run"
Very few cities are so homogeneous. Don't dox yourself but what do you feel comfortable sharing about what city this is? I find it extremely unlikely that the entire city is full of people who only talk to fortune 500 people. Do all the wait staff and service workers exist in silence and depart the city at dusk?
Sounds like you're putting up barriers blocking your own success, mostly.