Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
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Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Rainbow Railroad // A non-profit international humans rights organization helping at risk LGBTQ+ people relocate to safety.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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You sound like a wonderful mother, you remind me of my mother honestly. She always puts my needs before her own needs.
I want to share just one little thing from my relationship with her: I once came home from school to find her on her own in her bedroom crying her eyes out. She had never let me see that sort of strength of feeling from her before so it was clear to me this was really serious.
She explained to me then that she was really really unhappy in the relationship with my step-father and she had been for years, but she didn't want to disrupt my life and she didn't want to seperate me from him because I was so close with him.
She had basically prevented herself from being okay and happy because her highest priority was not disrupting my life, but really I couldn't have cared less about that dude, or the house I was in, or whether we moved away, I just wanted her to be happy, because I could tell she wasn't. She was sad and it was obvious that she was even though she was doing her best to hide it from me. Living with that sadness was worse than whatever disruption came after.
I wish I could have told her years before that I would support her and she didn't need to sacrifice her happiness for me, especially because she was assuming that leaving my stepdad would be really really disruptive for me, and it just wasnt.
Kids are really fucking resilient. I know that you will always put them first, but I hope you can get your oxygen mask on too if you get what I'm saying.
Oh it's nothing like that. It's honestly self preservation. My kids are like a hurricane. If I take any time off, I'm just making things a hundred times worse down the line. They can create 2 hours of unnecessary housework in 5 minutes. My partner has chronic pain and can't run around after them so I either stay on top of the situation or it gets out of hand real fucking quick.
At least 2 of them have pathological demand avoidance, so getting them to tidy up after themselves is about an hour of subtle hints and gentle persuasion for 10 minutes of cleaning (and even then only if I gameify it). Taking a break is the same as ripping the oxygen mask out while the plane is on fire, it just gets much worse.
Sorry for mis-reading the situation. I hope that i don't sound like I'm being preachy with you, I guess I was just hearing in your story, something that seemed resonant to me, but i was off-base. I really wish you the best off luck.
I still think you sound like a great mom.
I get it, and to an extent you are correct. It is overwhelming sometimes but I just have to remember that it's not going to get harder as they grow up. So the time will come when I can take a break without sabotaging myself. And you can bet your ass I will!
You deserve it.