this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2026
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Funny: Home of the Haha

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[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 87 points 3 days ago (6 children)

The chances of a tourist being killed by an Italian chef are low… but never zero!

[–] cynar@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago

The chances of a "missing" tourist's body being found are also low, but not zero!

[–] binarytobis@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I miss the “but never zero” memes. Maybe I’ll start flooding lemmy with them personally.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Please make at least 35% of them horny, to relieve some of the pressure on Violet.

[–] msage@programming.dev 4 points 2 days ago

Chance of them being horny is very low.

.

.

.

But never zero.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I'm only even ~1/4 Italian by ancenstry, and I would have it out for somebody who did this at a proper Italian restaurant in the US.

Unacceptable chuckle-fuck behavior.

[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I mean, it's not, though. It is no Olive Garden. Thankfully.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 days ago

...

The comparison, either positive, or negative, is insulting.

At least go with Bucca di Beppo or something like that, if you want to make a comparison.

Olive Garden is fucking microwaved slop.

[–] naeap@sopuli.xyz 1 points 2 days ago

Have you ever been in Italy?
They take their food seriously...

[–] forrgott@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

According to Borderlands 3, the life of a celebrity chef is mostly revenge killings.

Edit: Just saying find us a celebrity Italian chef... 😎

So like one of my favorite Chinese restaurants you would go to because the owner would always be going on an angry drunken rant. The food is good but the floor show is better