this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2026
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ADHD

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I'm trying to retake the medication that I took back in high school (Concerta) so I can study for and eventually take the Comptia A+ exam. The idea being that I've a decently-paying remote job that will benefit both my wife and I. My wife, however, refuses to let me get my meds. This isn't the first we've had this conversion and every time she says the same thing: "You just need to focus naturally", "It's all in your head", "Doctors are only in it for themselves" and so on. There's no getting through to her and I'm tired of trying to get to reason with me. I think I'm going to get my meds in secret and hide them. I know that this is a bad idea but she leaves me no choice. Any advice?

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You do not want to be in a relationship where you have to hide things. Trust me. Take your meds. Your wife can get on board with it, or not. Her choice.

My wife was always fine with me taking meds but we had some fierce arguments about the fact that our oldest child also has ADHD. She just didn't want to accept it for some reason. Right up until said child started expressing suicidal thoughts. At that point, all I could say was, "Look, we can either let her keep going down the same path I went down at that age or we can get her the help she needs." Wife got on board pretty quickly after that.

I get not understanding what's it like to have ADHD. That's fair. But to basically trash a major part of your lived experience because they themselves haven't lived takes some incredible arrogance.