this post was submitted on 30 Mar 2026
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Don't be mean. I promise to do my best to judge that fairly.

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I have a bunch of these I came up with for a DND character I played for a while. Try to read this with a deep southern accent.

Well, paddle my ass and call me a sailboat

Well, spit in my mouth and call me a saxophone

Well, fill me with meat and call me a sandwich