this post was submitted on 19 Mar 2026
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The key to happiness is having zero expectations. Seeking it in others is probably one of the worst places to look.
anon rediscovers stoicism
Don't slap a western coat of paint onto older teachings.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nishkama_Karma
According to Wikipedia, the bhagavad gita was written around 200 BC, whereas stoicism originated in 400 BC. Admittedly, this was just the result of some very cursory research, the Buddhist philosophy could go back further than the writing itself, but it seems to me like they independently arise around the same time (that being around 200 years difference, lol) but you really need to be careful saying stuff like that. I've made the same mistake dozens of times where I confidently state something, only for it to be disproven by a minute of googling.
The Bhagavad Gita is a synthesis work of even older teachings going back a thousand years before it was written in that book.
I disagree. Zero expectations leads to rotting if you're down already. As I understand it, zero expectations almost equals zero trust.
"Expectations" are different from "goals". One of the easiest paths to chronic unhappiness is to treat happiness as an expectation.
Happiness is fundamentally transitory and unsuitable for a goal, although setting up the circumstances for it to occur regularly isn't a bad idea. Being at peace, satisfied, not bored, and others relevant to you are much more consistent and achievable, and you only need to rely on yourself to do so (happiness is often circumstantial).
Oh, yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to imply "don't treat happiness as an expectation; treat it as a goal!", because like you said, it's fundamentally incompatible with what a goal is. I like to consider the SMART criteria, and even though it fails all of them (except 'T' if you insist you have a deadline to be happy), it fails 'A' the hardest, because a goal as such is literally defined by how it's oriented toward taking an action. Even if you think your goal is "I will be happy by doing X today", then – as long as you think you can do X and have a plan – what you actually have is the goal "I will do X today" with the faulty, tacked-on expectation of "and that will make me feel happy".
Call me pedantic, but that's not zero expectations. I 100% agree on the happiness expectations to depression pipeline, but zero expectations to me is expecting a ROI of 0, that is expecting any effort to be wasteful.
expectations / reality
Lonliness is a significant driver of depression in modern society. Finding community and relationships can absolutely help. In fact friends and partners are generally the first people we need to talk to about our feelings.
Honestly, having good friends is super important, especially friends that you can have fun with on a compatible level. I have had over half a decade with no friends that I could do anything fun with, More like situationfriendships. Luckily I now have a friend that I can have consistent fun with, and we both have never felt better. Fun is so important in life, especially with other people.
Nope. Can't agree with you. I don't understand life, so I never know what to expect. Everyday I wake up and wonder what fresh new hell will await me in the headlines of the news, as the president continues to amaze me, and leave me in awe in all the new and creative ways he finds to globally embarass our whole country, and bring with it a new form of torture for all it's citizens.
The REAL secret to happyness is to have your butthole licked while riding a jetski, and eating an ice cream sunday.