primscha

Worked almost 40 hours for spring break. As much as I hate working during my break, I think it's ultimately a blessing: I'm getting out of an internship that I don't like sooner rather than later.

Now it's back to the grind. Somehow got most of this week's assignments done already, but I know a couple of things that will kick my butt later this week. Hopefully it doesn't mess with me too much.

I want to get ahead and work on outside projects because I know I can't rely on my current program to help me get into my career. And I'd like to network more with the local community, but I gotta plan ahead and manage my time better, haha... Things are just rough right now with two jobs.

There are a lot of worries piling up in my head right now. I think I need to rest.

Burnout. Gotta sacrifice some of my Sundays hanging out with my bf. A lil sad bc he's the only person right now on my life that has free time(ish). 🫠 Then the rest of my week is busy. Saturdays are workdays. Mondays–Thursdays have a mix of work, schoolwork, and homework.

And I'm looking for summer internships, and trying to find skills to work on in the meantime. Not sure how much time I have to prioritize this stuff though. But uh... I need to find a job asap once I graduate. I dunno.

Life has been tough. I'm hoping summer will be easier.

Recovering from burnout. Personal life happened, an anxiety spell took over me, and school continued on. But things are slowly being put back together. I think I'll be okay. Even if at times I feel like I'm alone, I'm reminded by my friends that I'm not. Guess it's a habit to think that way. Breaking out of it.

Also I met a unicorn. Dating said unicorn. Feel very happy. c:

Hope y'all feel better soon!

Had a lovely anxiety spell take over me the past couple of days, but I'm working on solving the issues that are causing said anxieties, bit by bit. At least the weekend will start, though my internship now seeps into my weekends... Don't look forward to Saturdays as much as I used to. But Sunday, I'll be hanging out with a friend. And then I'll be hanging out with someone I really like. ⌯’▾’⌯ Trying to be optimistic and get work done so that the anxiety lessens.

I feel tired, but in a good way. Met up with more friends, ate good food, and had fun. My friends were kind enough to treat me a bit since they uh, understand my current financial position as broke college student™.

But I got good news this week: I now have two jobs! One being the internship, and the other is a student desk job (aka I get paid while doing homework type of job). It'll be busy, but it should be manageable. So I need to budget a plan to visit a friend this summer and pay some of my loans again (considering that I'll finally have some money to do so). Haha...

Other than that I've been studying again. Working on a community project for my career path, and figuring out my presidential duties for my club (club funding due date is approaching).

I still have about two weeks of break left, but it feels like my vacation is done. And honestly...I'm good with that. I feel like this was the most mentally productive break I've had in years. (-◡-◍)

Thank you for your kind words! I appreciate it ⌯’▾’⌯ I'll do my best. Life certainly feels like it's at a tipping point where things can turn out better, so everything is a mix of terrifying yet exhilarating.

The hike was awesome! I'm currently very tuckered out by it lol.

Weird, but not overly bad. Still burnt out from last semester and can't believe that it's already been a week in for winter break. Time passing has been a relief and a stressor, with me contemplating how to best use my time when most of it has been used up by me constantly napping... at least so far.

Met up with two friends. One is gonna be my coworker soon, and we really got along! Hung out for about eight hours chatting... He might be in charge of me and the rest of the interns though, so we'll see how our hangouts go in the future. We plan on hiking before he has to return to work.

Christmas has been interesting. My parents made a croissant filled with Nutella and sausages. Random quips and complaints thrown about. No big fight though, so that's nice. We almost had no gifts because my mom was worried about money, but decided to shop the day before Christmas Eve since I was going out anyway to meet my friend. I reminded her about my wishlist (the third or fourth reminder) because I didn't want her to randomly buy me clothes that I would never wear for the umpteenth time.

I'm beginning to think that I need to slowly take over the cooking and baking in this household. And driving. And cleaning. I mean, it's a household of adults and aging parents. I want things to get better, but I need to create a plan with my siblings — which won't be happening soon, because everyone is having their own struggles with depression and finances. .-.

I didn't mean to make this existential. But Christmas is my reminder of the good and bad times with family. I hope to have a Christmas that reminds me of why I used to love this holiday... I'm trying to make the best of this break without letting my worries get to me.

Edit: I forgot to add in the midst of my rambling. Happy holidays, everyone! I hope y'all are doing well and/or are making it through this time of year.