karthnemesis

I feel both simultaneously very often. Always overwhelmed, but incredibly painfully restless with constantly doing self-care catch-up, and being unable to go anywhere or do things I like doing. Maddening.

Been struggling with feeling like there is no zone to be okay in, lately.

I've found with my ADHD friends, as well as my (autistic, bipolar, ?maybe adhd?) self, that "doing something for others" is somehow easier than doing it just for myself. That might put into perspective why it felt easier to make meals before a divorce. Feel like there's a way to hack that quirk, solo, but haven't figured it out exactly yet.

Coming a bit from the opposite angle-- I haven't eaten well for my entire life, and I'm trying to learn how to create a diet on my own, from scratch.

I rely on a lot of soup. Just cut veggies, freeze them. Dump them all in broth when I have energy. Spices are "whatever feels right." Cutting and cooking does not need to be on the same day. Very simple, gets me veggies, reliable. It's something to build from. Does not require much planning.

Neutrally: Do you feel like your comment is a mature, adult response?

I'm a bit curious-- your hobby seems to be attempting to antagonize others on the internet. Do you have anyone in your life that feels like a support system? Are they someone that does not hurt you?

If your only support system consists of people who talk like you do, to you-- please try to get out of your current situation. It's a painful place to be. Life can be better.

Honestly, the only thing my anxiety meds have done for me personality-wise is make me feel a lot more like myself.

My NSFW desires are identical! :) ...Well, I mean, i'm a lot less anxious about enjoying them fully, so my relationship to them is quite a bit different...

I haven't had preferences for likes and dislikes being changed. Medication type might matter for that?

Thank you for removing the ragebait post; it makes me optimistic this sub could remain an actually useful support space to people with autism.

I was gonna say "didn't they create their own instance?"
But if you go there from the sidebar, that appears to be gone, soooo... :s

If you're looking for feedback and thoughts about how one way one could approach this; these are mine.

If we were not that close, I would distance quite heavily from the relationship, if I kept him in my life at all. I personally would not do any further steps unless Liam were incredibly dear to me. Death and violence is a huge part of my life and it is not avoidable. It sounds like it is this way for you, too.

But if he was that important to me, and approaching this as if I were in your position:

I would be certain I would have to have a talk with Liam-- uncertain boundaries are a hard limit of mine.

I would mention that I need to have a conversation regarding clarity in his boundary towards violence, and ask him for a good time to meet up. This lets him adequately prepare for a discussion, which is important when the discussion will likely contain triggers.

I would ask if he'd like to know some of the questions beforehand to prepare his answers. I would keep the outline as snappy as possible without omitting the most important context.

Even if he didn't want the outline, I would keep it for myself for the discussion, so I could stay on task properly and not draw out a hard conversation.

I would talk to my therapist before reaching out, to feel more solid in my plan.

Other thoughts:

It's not a "wrong" thing to be traumatized by violence, but it does sound like his boundary might make your relationship incompatible. If he is triggered by what is a huge part of your life, there's only so much that can be done with that.

I do not think that your own feelings are invalid, and your concerns regarding this make a lot of sense to me. If it turns out that it would make your relationship extremely shallow, it's up to you to decide if it's worth keeping.

Freetube instead of youtube,

Thunderbird calendar instead of something like google calendar,

Signal instead of Discord or text,

Tellico for all media lists instead of something like goodreads or online movie or game lists,

Obsidian or Joplin for notes and organizing creative pursuits

You can sort of block publishers/devs, if they have their own "steam page." If you click on the publisher/dev in the listings underneath review scores, if it takes you to an actual dedicated page you can click the gear icon on the right and click "ignore this creator."

This does not completely block them but it has them show up in less places (or are greyed out in some places.) Basically they can pop kinda randomly up in sales when steam forgets to add that, or greyed out in the tabs section on the front page (new and trending, top sellers, popular upcoming tabs)

It's not the cure-all "erase EA" button I'm sure we'd all prefer, but it does help a little.

agree. my own thoughts:

if a therapist is ever telling you what you "can't" do in interpersonal relationships, they're not doing their job. their job is to guide you towards you building your own best life, to find your own answers in a safe environment, ...it is not commanding you to do stuff because they think it's "right"

you should be on board with every decision made about you.

When Black Birds Fly. It feels an extremely particular type of sick to me. It's one of my favourite movies, and I haven't watched it all the way through yet. The rainbow vomit aesthetic of it is, as far as I can tell, unique. Most people hate it.

It's also unique in that it's the only thing I've had to stop watching despite being very interested. I'll finish it fully one day.

I've probably watched other things people would consider more extreme, but for some reason, this one gets to me, in the best way. Not even necessarily just disturbed, also... overwhelmed.

The horrendous, stilted acting and animation is not accidental, it is a precursor to how nothing in the movie will be comfortable.

cryptid energy