MuhammadJesusGaySex

So, for anyone that’s curious, testicles are weird pain wise. They have a lot of pressure sensitive nerves on the surface of the testicles themselves. But if you, for example, were to hypothetically push a needle like object into the center of a testicle. You would feel the pressure of the needle pushing on the testicle, but once it pops through there is very little sensation at all.

Edit: Even though this is true this is NOT medical advice. Do not do this as it could have potentially serious consequences. I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this, but here we are.

Apple has gotten terrible. If i don’t proofread it will change words to what it thinks they should be without prompting me. Also, editing sentences on iOS sucks. They changed that too. That way after they fuck up my sentence it’s also way harder to go back and fix it.

Mine goes as follows.

Them: Hello I’m looking for…

Me: Mmmmmmmmm fuck yeah god damn your dick smells so fucking hot.

Them: Excuse me sir???

Me: I said your dick smells fucking hot. You wanna meet up later and get tongue deep in each others ass holes.

Them: :click:

I don’t get many scam calls or bill collectors anymore. The trick is that you ONLY do it when they call you. In other words don’t call them and harass them. If it’s a legit company it might even be illegal for that company to make their employees call someone that sexually harasses their employees. Also if it’s a woman i usually describe the smell of the genitalia. Otherwise it’s the same.

A lot of Indian dudes are homophobic as hell. To add to the awkwardness of the conversation I lower my voice to make it real deep. Then I say each word slowly and breathy. That way I know they hear me and each word kind of hangs there for a second.

This reminds me of that old story. One, I have tried to live by.

There was an old man with a huge watermelon patch. Every day a group of kids would come over and steal a single watermelon. The old man was furious about the kids stealing his watermelons and devised a plan. He went out and posted a sign in his patch that said “One of these watermelons is poison. KEEP OUT!”

So, a day goes by, and no stolen watermelon. A week goes by no missing watermelons. The old man is just so pleased with himself and his success. But, then he wakes up after about a week and a half and goes to pick some watermelons, and notices that someone has put a smaller sign next to his. He walks over and the smaller sign simply says “Now there’s two”.

Thanks man! Unfortunately, my life has been a series of shit storms with small moments of rest when the eye passes over almost since I was born. So, I doubt the forecast calls for better weather anytime soon.

I’ve been thinking about starting a community that’s just stories about my life experiences. Everyone I’ve told about my life agrees that it’s pretty entertaining as long as you’re not the one living it. Stuff like the time I accidentally hung out with a murderer a couple of days after he killed and a day or two before he turned himself in and he described in detail the murder to me. There was also the time my dope dealer called me and my wife at the time to try some drugs and make sure they were good. Only, to see a man overdose at a HUGE drug deal and me and my dealer worked feverishly to revive the man lest one of us have to dump the body. Ya know, stuff like that.

Also, there are good things. Like, they hiv positive gay man that was way more patient with me than I deserved. He taught me about empathy, and gave me a safe place to get away from my dad, and all he ever asked in return was my friendship. He probably taught me more about being a man than my dad ever did.

As with everything in life. The truth is more gray than black and white. Also, like it says in the prophet or in that mad season song if you prefer “My pain is self chosen”. I don’t blame anyone but myself for my current predicament. Sure some problems are circumstantial but most are poor decisions. A whole lot of “let’s see where this goes” kind of behavior.

Sorry for the wall of text. I’m bored, but I’m sure you have stuff to do today. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Edit: I mentioned the fact that the man was hiv positive because that happened in the mid-90s. It was a way bigger deal back then.

How is it that a man who is completely paralyzed is in a better mood than I. Literally, I wake up every morning and say a few cuss words because I woke up again. I’m fully able, but just don’t want to do this anymore. Against amazing odds I’m still here, and yet I’m very very unenthused with that fact.

On the other hand this man is trapped in what most would consider a fucking nightmare, and he’s cool with it. I wonder how much of that depends on stress and support networks. After all it sounds like his family loves him a lot. Where as when I went to jail, and they asked who to contact in case of emergency or death. I told them no one. Because I literally have no one.

Oh well, that’s enough pity partying. Time to get off the toilet and start a new day.

Every time I see this picture people say that it is metamorphosis. I have a paperback copy and this isn’t in it. Likewise, I went to nhentai.net and double checked. Still not in it. What is this from? Is there a sequel or prequel that I am not aware of?

Am I overlooking it somewhere?

I fucked my back up on a fishing trip a week ago. Now even pot holes make wish for deaths sweet release. I hate getting old.

There is nothing inherently “good” about religion at all. Honestly, I believe it cheapens the human race. It says that humans aren’t strong enough on their own. They NEED the guidance and help of invisible beings to do the things they do.

I was a heroin addict for over a decade. I am now clean, and even off the methadone. I purposefully avoided things like NA because I got myself clean. God had no part in it. God doesn’t deserve the credit. I put in the work.

But the main problem with religion is that it is an override switch for critical thinking. Things that are obviously, and proven to be helpful and right. They can become muddy at best and downright wrong when viewed through the lens of religion. Think, abortion, and stem cell research. Good people get hurt when viewed through the lens of religion. Think LGBTQ, or people of a different religion.

In the end the small positives aren’t worth the negatives, and for those “good religious people” you still support machines that are into child marriage, child molestation, keeping women down, and hurting other humans just because your god said it’s cool.

This happened in holup. One of the most ridiculous subs. I mean since they got rid of spacedicks and watchpeopledie. You know, all the good stuff.