Kattiydid

I bought a 1959 and wish I had gone further with my remodeling than I did, and I took out all the floor down to the studs in the main level and filled everything with soundproofing insulation before redoing the subfloor with 1 and a 1/4 inchs of OSB that I glued and compression screwed to the joists. One thing I'm very happy I did do was run Ethernet to most rooms while the floor was open, having all go to a central hub in the utility room where they're connected to switches, one for the upstairs network, one for the basement network since I also made the basement a separate apartment. Long way to say I wish I had planned out every repair and remodel and upgrade I could think of before ever touching a hammer so I could just do all the demo and remodeling at once. Now I'm stuck wishing I could go back and redo all the old electrical and plumbing before I had done all the finish work. Learn from me young one!

Japan for a month in November! Been saving for and planning on going for the last 20 years and I'm finally going! I'm so freaking excited!

I know Japan is redoing it's electrical system to have no overhead lines of any kind so when earthquakes hit there's not live electrical lines dropping on people.
Either way the point isn't that this specific house is or isn't a shit hole, it's the idea that any house sold for so cheap must inherently be a shit hole. It might be, but the situation in Japan is different than the situation here because of aforementioned population decline and condensation into cities. There are many challenges to buying a home in another country not least of which in Japan is gaining the right to live there permanently, but as long as you do the work to ensure you know what you're buying and that you can live there safely and legally once whatever works needs done is done, there's no reason to assume a home like that in Japan is 100% a shit hole by nature. Especially since technology has advanced to the point that power and telecommunications don't require a direct line anymore to be effective and affordable. Solar power and wireless communication is only getting better and better. Again, I'm not saying that house specifically couldn't be a shit hole, I'm saying that in Japan specifically there's no reason to automatically assume it is one. It will have problems but that doesn't mean it couldn't be worth it if you did your research.

The interesting part about a bunch of the homes in more rural Japan is that they're not actually condemned or shit holes. They're old and would definitely need some love and attention but their population hasn't been at replacement levels for a long time and people would rather live in a big city where they have access to all of the things so slowly and steadily the outer Fringe population areas in Japan have ben getting more and more empty leaving perfectly good houses to sit vacant for years. That's not to say that there aren't shit holes that aren't worth the time it takes to go see them but a large portion of them are actually quite nice.

I don't know about a metal cord protector but here's a different solution just in case it doesn't exist. when my cat wouldn't stop chewing on cables, I got bitter apple spray, collected all the cables in my house, put them all in my bathtub and sprayed them all very liberally with this bitter apple spray, let them dry then plugged everything back in. Now the only time I have a cable get chewed through is when I just got something and I forget to spray it cuz I guess she still tests them just to be sure they taste awful. And believe me, it tastes awful. I highly recommend wearing disposable gloves while handling the stuff, especially while it's wet and then washing the bathtub and your hands thoroughly once the cables are dry and back where they go. Blegh!

Say the whole thing. With your chest now, loud and clear, say exactly what you think is worthless. You're a big they, I believe in you, use you words.

Fair, I tend to think in terms of affinity rather than ranking, i have high affinity with some people and less with others. it's not about rank, it's about... Vibes? I guess? There's probably a better word but codes it what comes to mind.

Borderline personality disorder is a whole ass beast and I'm so sorry you've been struggling with it. I've heard there's a specific version of cognitive behavioral therapy called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy that's been modified from CBT to address BPD specifically. I'm not a mental health therapist so past personal experience I feel limited in the advice I can give. I have had some success thus far working with a therapist who specializes in my specific mental health needs (late diagnosed ADHD and Autism) that I've developed a decent relationship with. We're working with CBT and it's been helpful in catching the runaway anxiety spirals I've struggled with since childhood, as well as reprocessing general negative lines of thought about myself and the people around me.

I hope you find peace and balance in your mind so the need to hide from yourself with the company of others is diminished. Not only because learning to give yourself grace is healing, but because It's so much easier to find genuine connection with the people around me when I'm not driven by fear.

Isolation is painful, I know that very well. There is a vast difference between having no one in your life and feeling incapable of being ok without company. People need community, we are social beings. The best advice I have for seeking friendship is to join groups you have affinity with. If you're particularly interested in politics, art, music, movies, gardening, anime, 3D printing, TTRPGs, whatever it is you love spending time doing, find people in your area who get together to do those things and try to join them.

If, on the other hand, you have friends and community but still can't stand the time you spend alone, address what about being by yourself creates that anxiety? What are you getting from constant company that you don't have alone?

Are you your own favorite person? If not, why not? What qualities about yourself make you feel like you're not worthy of being the person you enjoy spending the most time with? If you are your own favorite person, why does it matter if someone else feels like they'd rather spend time with you over anyone else? I feel if you enjoy your own company when you're completely alone then the relationships you develop with others become more genuine, because you actually enjoy spending time with those people, rather than just being desperate to not be alone with yourself.

This is the way 🏴‍☠️

Purple!