Jaegeras

Read a news article, by headline because really I don't care enough to be bothered reading why. About a mother, who was denied home-at-work and had a child die over some circumstance, was awarded $22 million. Whether she gets it or not, doesn't matter, what matters is that nobody should ever win that much in any case. Millions have been tossed around so fruitlessly in cases like these.

Should that mom deserve some form of compensation? Yeah, probably, but not millions. It doesn't bring back the the child, in fact, money never really heals these kinds of wounds. If so, why isn't anyone getting some of that money anyways?

There's a show I still listen to, that's 20+ years old and hasn't made any new episodes for 6 years. I don't quite vibe with the newer episodes so I don't listen to them. I however, very annually and religiously, have listened to the backlog of the older shows from 2003 - 2005, 2006 - 2008 respectively. It's to a point where I know them completely by heart and know what to expect per episode.

I've listened to them at various points in my life and at different locations. They are to me, like time capsules, that rewind me back to periods in time that make me think a lot of where I was then, where things were in general, what could've been, what would've been .etc

I just can't seem to get tired of them, despite me having tried to take lengthy breaks, to listen to newer things along the way. I listen to them to sleep to, they've become white noise. The longer I go listening to them however, the more times I'm reminded of various things that isn't just the past. Things like "oh, I was at this point with someone when i listened to this episode" so it has kindof served as a callback of some sorts. Amazing how that works. That's how I resonate a lot with music in general is that I can recall things based on what songs I've listened to, that'll remind me of things based on where I've listened to them and what my surroundings were.

And this show is great at that too.

People just adding others in pseudo-friendships, friendships that don't really mean anything and people treating others like they're a service or speed-dial or so. I am part of the last generation of people it feels like, where, you befriended someone with intent to build a bond with them and that bond is built upon year after year. You gain memories, then when the old memories are old, you make new ones.

I've noticed an alarming amount of people who'll just add you because they only see you as someone to lean on. Not because the relationship is meaningful, but someone who is just there 'when in need' as they go off not doing anything for large portions of time. This creates an artificial, shallow and hollow experience where a lot of time, you will feel like you're the one upholding the friendship.

And that only isn't normal to me, but simply unacceptable. Then you've got people who can't even go a day without communication so now they call it 'ghosting' which is another overly spammed word that has lost meaning. I'm low maintenance, who can go periods of time without talking but at the same time, I do also want things to be meaningful. Doesn't have to be constant, just something within the year.

And I've had people in my life who simply cannot do that. I've had people who still consider friends after not talking for years and years. What do you mean you're okay with that? That's lost time! I don't enjoy having to spend however long playing catch up.