Title text: No, we actually do have a woman who's basically part of our fellowship. She lives in Rivendell, you wouldn't know her.
An instance can behave like a sub or community if they wish to, assuming what you said is even true. Iirc the entire point of the fediverse is to allow groups of users to be free from spez like ban-happy/profiteering behaviour. Lemmy doesn't exist to make you personally happy. Hexbear has its own rules for its own instance and if their community is happy with it it'll survive and thrive.
Lemmy dot world's decision is disappointing because they seemed open and neutral politically. But are seemingly very much not neutral and damaging for Lemmy.
I don't think they were going to, since Hexbear doesn't actually have downvotes. Only upvotes. And the post above apparently cuts out the part where they're told to follow the rules.
If they wanted to misbehave they could do it already. I've personally had posts and comments mass downvoted and people have complained elsewhere. The only thing this defederation will contribute to is an increase in alt accounts and the very misbehaviour you fear. This is a Lemmy problem, not a Hexbear one.