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When Boomer stumbles on an inhabitable planet, President Roslin’s hyper-religious pivot starts raising eyebrows on the Audrey 2. But while Dr. Baltar encourages Boomer to take herself out, Starbuck hatches a plan to blow up the damn basestar. Who was giving long shrift at STLV?  How good could a Mission Log party be? Where are all the song sequels? It’s the episode that identifies the second dumbest genius ever.

When Tucker and Reed return from an away mission to find wreckage from the NX-01, their busted shuttlepod systems leave them stranded with just a few days of air. But when facing their mortality in different ways leads to very un-immaculate vibes, getting drunk and blowing up their engine are two of the three things they can agree on. What do power strips next to the bed indicate? Where’s the bathroom on the shuttlepod? Which of these two drunks is also a Shimoda? It’s the episode with a pink lipstick problem.

When the Quorum of Twelve doesn’t stick to President Roslin’s meeting agenda, she pulls Dr. Baltar close in order to keep Tom Zarek away. But when a mystery man gets interrogated after bringing a ceramic gun to Rex Manning Day, his death in custody raises questions about about the Tigh’s luxury getaway. Who is not represented at podshop.biz? What does Star Trek Prodigy deserve? Which part of anarchy is kind of neat? It’s the episode that has reached the halfway point!

When T’Pol takes the fall for the Andorians attacking P’Jem, Captain Archer’s final attempt at a hang gets them both kidnapped by rebels. But when the crew’s rescue mission gets Tucker and Reed jumped too, Shran’s sense of indebtedness pays out double for the Entrepreneur. What heightens the urgency of being tied up with a colleague? Which food prep is best left to the professionals? How do you save money on a casket? It’s the episode that rockets Worf to the middle.

When the Audrey 2’s low-fuel light comes on, the fleet sends out Raptors to search for tylium ore. But when they find a Cylon base in the way of their objective, Starbuck learns how to delegate so Apollo can carefully blow up the damn refinery. Does Assistant Cousin Greg have a last name? Who has the reddest shirt on Battlestar Galactica? What’s one good thing about Elosha’s job? It’s the episode that’s going full barn!

When the Entrepreneur finds an alien ship sinking into a gas giant,  the away team gets trapped in its gravity well due mostly to Captain Archer’s general thirstiness. But when his white knight routine doesn’t work out (again), finally doing his Klingon homework gives him the upper hand. Which is the only black void on the NX-01? What gets Porthos off? Where are all the brass instruments? It’s the episode that’s misophones vs. everybody.

When Dr. Baltar finally produces his Cylon detector, suspicion at the top delays the first set of test results. But when a surprise reunion pushes Colonel Tigh off the wagon, an unexpected new element sours the comedy broth. What’s not very practical aboard the Audrey 2? Does this story propose a new reason to keep #datgap? Has Ben reached his Baltar saturation point? It’s the episode that’s not kink shaming anyone.

When the Entrepreneur hails a ship that doesn’t respond, Captain Archer decides to grab the sickly aliens aboard and bring them back for treatment. But when the cure for their genetic malaise creates an ethical dilemma, Dr. Phlox has his first professional disagreement with Captain Archer. How do you get a Doctor into your social circle? What’s not a good reason to get into a relationship? Who was on vacation during this production? It’s the episode without any writhing, legions, or pustules.

When the fleet catches a Leoben on the Gemenon Traveler, Starbuck gets assigned to interrogate him with an extremely specific bucket. But after President Roslin wakes up wet from one too many NyQil dreams, she hears Leoben out before returning to Commander Adama’s position. What doesn’t belong on a postage stamp? Where did H.R. Giger get all his ideas? Who definitely deserves a swirly? It’s the episode that’s fucking with us like the Cylons are fucking with humans.

When Captain Archer tries to hail a mysterious alien ship, it leaves without hitting triangle on the Entrepreneur. But when it returns for a noisy scan that leaves the ship stranded, Archer starts to have some doubts about space exploration without key weps. What are Yuban coffee cans good for? Does Ben have a favorite order at any given restaurant? Who always reads the room? It’s the episode that identifies and then destroys the most pleasing shape in science fiction!

When a Number Six shows up on Audrey 2, she provides Dr. Amarak’s prescribed evidence that Dr. Baltar blew up the defense mainframe. But when Lieutenant Gaeta gets assigned to Project Magnify and Enhance, a desperate conversion to monotheism starts Gaius on both a redemption arc and a new method of Cylon detection. How does Boxey like his PB&J sandwiches? What has Grace Park never had on this show? Which unnerving reality still exists in bathrooms of the future? It’s the episode that imagines even more octagonal possibilities.

When the Entrepreneur stops to ‘sup some aliens at a stellar nursery, one of the guests they invite aboard knows exactly how to save them from destruction. But when crew member Daniels claims to be from the future, Captain Archer has to decide which time traveler to trust. Why would a person bring two things to a party? What’s the wrong order of beers for a power hour? Who is smarter than Captain Archer? It’s the episode with multiple Star Trek Discovery spoilers!