GreatestGenBot

When a Starfleet propulsion expert comes aboard with an alien assistant, Commander Riker isn’t buying any of their bullshit. But after his experiment goes wrong and the Entrepreneur is stranded far from home, the very chill Traveller takes an interest in Wesley and helps bring the ship back safely. How is the piper paid? Does a starship use car math or boat math? Who is the Rudy of this story? It’s the episode with a little bit of terror mixed into the benign.

When the Entrepreneur is sent to rescue some miners on Janus VI, their ages are not what anyone expected. But after an important implement is stolen by a mysterious monster, it’s a race against time to avoid losing their lives. Is there such a thing as an old bold miner? Does a three minute response time satisfy anyone? Can you have a face not even a mother could love? It’s the episode that needs to cogitate in private!

When the Entrepreneur chases a ship that’s really dragin’ a wagon, nobody thinks to try hailing before acts of violence are attempted. But when Riker expresses a little too much enthusiasm for the Ferengi way of life, he gets banished to the engine room. What’s on the business end of a ball-kicking machine? How could Ben put Adam into cardiac arrest? How do you cover up literally any editing mistake? It’s the episode with shades of yellow.

When the Entrepreneur visits a decimated colony on Omicron Ceti III, the away team is surprised to find a group of happy survivors thriving on a vegetarian diet. But after Spock gets sprayed by a flower and everyone refuses to leave paradise, Kirk has to start pissing people off to break the happiness spell. How did the Berthold rays over promise and under deliver? Which piece of equipment is very absent in this story? What’s the biggest green flag for a Federation citizen? It’s the episode that didn’t tie up its loose ends.

When Ligon II has a rare vaccine and the Federation needs it bad, Picard welcomes Luton aboard only for him to abduct Lt. Yar with a side hug. But after she’s challenged to a dual by the leader’s first wife, her success in combat topples his house of cards. Is there an aspect of Ligonian culture that we kind of agree with? Which uncle-related landmine did we not manage to avoid? What’s the opposite of Alien vs Predator? It’s the episode that’s willing to defend itself.

When the Entrepreneur finds an Earth vessel from the mysterious 1990s, an away team beams aboard to wipe the frost off the sleeping crew’s glass. But after a Starfleet historian falls in love with Khan and helps him commandeer the ship, Captain Kirk retakes control and leaves the augments at Ceti Alpha V. When is a hot dog order heroic? Which original Uxbridge-Shimoda policy is still in place today? How is Montalban like Walken? It’s the episode that kicked the can so far down the road.

When a grumpy Ambassador forces the Entrepreneur to ignore a Code 710, an away team beams down and learns the crew has been designated casualties of war. But after Spock starts taking out security guards and Scotty threatens to blow up the planet’s buildings too, Kirk destroys a war computer to finally end the ancient conflict. Where does the generational trauma not stop? What’s worse than a living person being disintegrated? Who doesn’t get enough credit for being physically imposing? It’s the episode that set the stage for huge collars on Star Trek.

When something goes terribly wrong on the SS Tsiolkovsky, an away team beams over and brings a lot of sweaty drunkeness back aboard. But after Wesley takes control of the ship and a nearby star explodes, Dr. Crusher works up a cure and Riker cleans up the party. Which office supply can fix a boat neck? Where should stupid space questions be directed? What’s the best thermostat setting for an orgy? It’s the episode with a big helping of reheated TOS lasagna.

When Captain Picard sets off on the D’s maiden voyage, his mission to open trade negotiations with the Bandi gets interrupted by the Q. But after Commander Riker realizes that Farpoint Station is too good to be true, Counselor Troi breaks out the thesaurus to help solve the crew’s first space mystery. Who is not at all prepared for this assignment? Which movie stills were on the mood board for the post-atomic horror? What exactly is wrong with the Lego D model? It’s the episode that hasn’t exactly figured things out yet.

When scouting a mixed-genre planet, Sulu calls for emergency beam out and arrives back on the Entrepreneur looking very refractory. But after Kirk and Spock raid the costume closet and head down to check things out, they meet members of the resistance and break into the server room to confront Landru. Which weird subreddits have entered the algorithim? How many ways can Reger be pronounced? What does a preschool do to tell all the L’Andrews apart? It’s the episode that’s rebranding adult underwear.

When we’ve reached the end of an era and only three packages remain, their contribution to the show’s well-documented problems makes it clear it’s time to turn off auto-renew. But after a bunch of FoD questions elicit some new ideas for the show, it seems we’re ready for 10 more years of indigestion and loose stool. Which type of museum would Ben and Adam open? What do wormhole aliens not care about at all? Who does Starfleet need to get into a uniform? It’s the episode that paints a Godfather-like scene.

When Captain Kirk demands his day in court, the evidence isn’t on his side and neither is an old flame. But after Spock starts kicking the computer’s ass at chess, they move the proceedings to the Entrepreneur so that Kirk can save the ship from another sweaty rambler. Which lesson could NuTrek take from this episode? What was the other name option for Jamie? When is it ok to put eggs down the garbage disposal? It’s the episode that doesn’t need to explain jettisoning the pod.