FatTony

Does it actually matter whether you flirt with someone or not in order for them to (potentially) develop feelings for you? A lot of people have told me it's intrinsic, as in "If they like you, they like you." So you should just treat the person you're interested in like you would any other person.

So if it all comes down to connection and looks, doesn't that make flirting a bit redundant?

Edit: To clarify, I see flirting as banter to make sexual/romantic intentions known.

My go to is the "See yourself as the price."-approach. When you jokingly set her up that she is hitting on you. For example:

Her: So, you want anything to drink?

Me: Oh I see, already trying to get me drunk, eh?

I feel like I'm worth nobody's romantic time. I never ever flirt because of it. I always assume nobody wants me. And if they do, I genuinely figure they don't know what they want. I'm 26 years old and have never been with anybody. I do have hobbies, I dance (semi-professionally), I like to skateboard, I go to parties, go to the gym, etc. The only attention I ever get are from fat or ugly women. I have never met a woman I liked that liked me back. Or so I presume. Because, again, I genuinely cringe at the thought of me showing romantic interest and the other party not appreciating it. I actually feel like clawing my eyes out if that were to ever happen to me. And still I don't feel like changing, I am destined to die alone. I feel like improving my self esteem is the same shutting your eyes and pretending something isn't there. I also feel like I deserve it. I mean, if I REALLY wanted a girlfriend. I guess I could settle for a fat or ugly woman. But no, can't do that either. I would not be able to love someone if I felt like I only got there through a settlement of sorts. Anyway, I guess you could say, I am one lost cause mother fucker.

This will probably be my last question here (at least for a while). My last two questions were about flirting and expressing romantic interest to someone. In short in was a mixture of: 'Flirting is important.' and 'Just be yourself.'

I want to give flirting a proper, respectable shot. I want to see if this is something I can develop and get creative with.

At the same time I'm also hearing I should just be myself and let it be natural. Well, I never flirt, ever. So if I do, it will not be natural nor count as being myself.

So, what should I do? What does it mean to be yourself, while trying to change?

This is kind of a follow up question to this post: How important is flirting within the dating scene?

I have never in my life flirted with anyone. Seeing how I'm still single I figure I might want to change strategies. So what is the best way to show someone you're romantically (or sexually) interested in them?

And if you can, please include examples.

Note: I am a guy, straight.

So straight out the gate: I don't ever really flirt (yes, even if I like the girl). And I'm not sure whether I should change strategies. So hence my question.

Note: I am a guy.

Edit: Thank you all for your input. I have come to the realisation I need to let the other party (better) know I am romantically interested in them. Either by means of flirtation or otherwise.

There is this girl I like, in my dancing class. I want to know if we connect on other levels. I don't want to straight up ask her what her hobbies are. I want to make it feel natural. Believe me, this makes sense within the context.

We usually talk a little bit before the class starts. So that's really the best opportunity to ask.