So a lot of this I recognize has more to do with me than others, but wanted to get it out somewhere.

I haven't had much luck in finding any particular community/group that I feel comfortable with. Feels like I'm the downer/buzzkill for not being as enthusiastic or knowledgeable in some contexts, or a shill/fan for not being as negative enough in others.

My interests tend to be pretty broad and never dwelling on much enough for many. I'm not interested in getting hyped up over new stuff, or caught up only in criticizing it either. More often than not I'm trying to thread the needle to appreciate what I can from things and criticize what I can't, backing away and trying to find more stuff to explore.

In the process I end up with various niche pieces of knowledge while being a bit out of tune with some pop culture/entertainment stuff. (i mean how else would i have found myself here)

I dunno where I'm going with this, but sometimes it feels like I'm either walking on eggshells among the passionate or bounced between rocks of an enthusiastic river's rapids when trying to find community. Yet I still can't help occasionally feeling like I should try to find some kinda community out there, and that's probably the most onerous tension of it all.