this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
209 points (99.1% liked)

Programmer Humor

22222 readers
1514 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 23 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 3 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

The Nuclear Waste Software License is brilliant. Not only does it make the right impact when publishing random write-only code, it's legally BSD so lawyers won't be up your arse about it. In fact, it only strengthens the warranty disclaimer.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Assuming you are gay, have never committed a crime in your life and have illegally used software licensed with the "Be gay, do crime" license, you would have committed a crime, but because you did, you would have been following the license, which would mean you havent committed a crime, creating a paradox

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

Civil matter, not a crime.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 day ago

in a community I was in a while ago, there was a license someone used called the "anyone but Jeff license" which banned people named Jeff from using the Minecraft mod

[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I like the hot potato license, but granting commit rights only to inhabitants of the milky way galaxy is too restrictive.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I suppose in about 4.5 billion years the Andromedans can start committing also. (That or nobody can since it won't be the Milky Way any more)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

yeah, either that or none of the Milkdromeda inhabitants will be able to commit

[–] [email protected] 80 points 2 days ago

Overwatch License

Modification of the source code is only allowed if your competitive rank in Overwatch is higher than the maintainer's.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Be Gay Do Crimes licence - seems to be good for gay people who live where being gay is a crime, unless one wishes not to out themselves by their choice of licence

[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)
The [true] Unlicense License
Copyright (c) No one. You shouldn't be seeing this.

Permission is hereby denied, without possible charge, to any person illegally obtaining a copy of
this software and associated documentation files (the "Software") to not interact with the Software at
all, not look at the source code at all, and to not possess a copy, INCLUDING not having the right 
to run, execute or use the Software in any way.

The above copyright notice and this permission notice shall not be included in
copies or substantial portions of the Software, since you aren't supposed to see this anyway.

THE SOFTWARE IS **NOT** PROVIDED AT ALL, WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR
IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY,
FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NONINFRINGEMENT. IN ALL EVENTS SHALL THE
AUTHORS OR COPYRIGHT HOLDERS HAVE A RIGHT TO HOLD YOU LIABLE FOR BREAKING THE
LICENSE, WHETHER IN AN ACTION OF CONTRACT, TORT OR OTHERWISE, ARISING FROM,
OUT OF OR IN ILLEGAL CONNECTION WITH THE SOFTWARE OR THE 
USE OR OTHER QUESTIONABLE DEALINGS IN THE SOFTWARE
``
[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago

Perfect! My shitty code qualifies as a cognitohazard, so nobody should be seeing it anyways.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

That there's no please-ignore-this-license license?

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 days ago (2 children)

sltar License

Using this software requires giving your first child to the author so that they can "immolate it to the devil".

i'm feeling the urge to hide this clause in one of my projects. i'd change it to Rumpelstiltskin though.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 19 hours ago

There's no way this is how Rumpelstilzchen is spelled in English...

duckduckgoes

IT IS. English takes every single French word, keeps its spelling but mangles the pronunciation but for Rumpelstilzchen the pronunciation is somehow more relevant than the spelling? It makes some sense, but the ending "stiltskin" is an abomination.

The meaning of "stilzchen" is "small stilt" by the way - so he should've be called "Grumblestilty" in English.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Are you sure EA or Ubisoft didn't already beat you to it? Lol

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

they don't take your firstborn but go straight for your soul instead

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago

Isn't the "passive aggressive licence" just MIT?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

For comparison: comments about other licenses are available at https://www.gnu.org/licenses/license-list.html