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submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 71 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I...

Somebody please help me. I honest to fuck can't tell if this is fake. I know we've fallen a long way, but this just can't be real, can it?

[–] [email protected] 70 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Fake, don't worry. This won't happen for another three or four months into our Fourth Reich speedrun, at least.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I don't know how much more of this I can take; I'm starting to think I need to kill Ronald Reagan.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago

I've got some bad news for you, unless you own a DeLorean. (In which case, obligatory "Ha! The actor? Then who's vice president, Jerry Lewis?")

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Maybe you could watch a movie to take your mind off it. Have you seen Taxi Driver?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

I'm gonna need you to go ahead and kill Ronald Reagan tomorrow. So if you could be here around 9 that would be greaaat.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago

I'm guessing the "totalyrealtweets" at the top marks this as satire.

If it isn't, well. It's not like the fucker didn't write an entire book to let us know what his position was. (As opposed to his position now.)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Took me longer than it should have to be sure, but it looks like it's fake.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago

Lord.

"Just don't ask him about his niece"