this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Was playing with firework artillery shells once in the 90’s on a farm. One of the launch tubes fell over and my friends watched in horror as I had won this little “spin the bottle”. A large shell careened by my face within a few centimeters.

I still can taste the copper and feel the impact that smashed my face and caused me to die in that other timeline. Terrifying.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I work at a bank call center. One time I had someone call to check the balance on an account they recently opened with us. The bank I work for is regional, and this caller was on the other side of the country. The account number they gave pointed to an expensive private school in our area. When I asked for more information, the caller said they gave someone 500$ to open the account for them, and that person gave them some checks from us with that account number. I got my lead on the line, did some more Q&A, and we determined this person had been scammed, and given fake checks. The lead said they would close the account. The next week I get a direct message from the fraud investigation team director asking me why this account wasn't closed. I was able to provide a screenshot of the message from my lead saying they were going to close the account. They thanked me and that was it. I went to check on it, and over 60,000$ in fraudulent checks had cleared the account in that week. I've only been working there a few months, and I'm 60,000% sure they would have dropped me like a hot potato on the spot.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Is it normal for a call center rep or lead to close customer accounts? I'd assume that the fraud department would be the ones making that decision and handling issues raised. Anyway, I'm glad you had the receipts to prove it wasn't your fault.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I was playing around with electronics from the trash with my brother. We found a lamp with what we figured was a broken fuse. To test this theory, we wanted to take the fuse out of the system. So what do we do? I hold the cables together using two pliers. Our theory was right. But I ended up slightly shifting the wires so they weren't in contact anymore. Suddenly 240v were traveling through my arms and my muscles tensed, causing me to grab the pliers really tightly, unable to let them go. My brother saved my life by being smart and cool headed enough to just unplug the lamp after 2-3 seconds. I dont think I ever came closer to dying than that time.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Used to ride a motor scooter. Riding home, I turned left through an intersection and I hear a huge CRASH behind me. I pull into a parking lot and turn around, there's a white Jeep in the intersection flipped up on the drivers side door.

If I had been a hair slower, I'd have been squashed.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

I was 19 years old when a random chick literally asked me if I wanted to fuck her one night that I was jogging at the park. Like the typical virgin that I am just smiled and kept running... She was pretty, I should've just bit the bullet, especially since my sex life is non existent now.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Wakes up later in a bath of ice, missing a kidney: “Worth it!” ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

That’s called a prostitute.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 9 months ago (9 children)

Well there was a SCUD; a misfiring mortar system; an IED; a negligent discharge with a machinegun; a fire in the ammo stack for the mortars; the several times I almost got thrown from a humvee while off-roading; an artillery rocket that actually hit our position; a midnight ambush (but it was really badly done, like comically bad); several patrols where the one in front of us or behind us got hit by large IEDs; and uhh that one time we drove through a minefield in a sandstorm.

Which time do you want to hear about?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Now do the Comically bad midnight ambush!

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