this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2025
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(page 2) 50 comments
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Buy a cheap pistol, go back in time, and shoot Gutenberg.

We'd still be living in medieval times.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

I support this one.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'd kill my parents before I was born.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Easy now. You only have to kill one of them.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Where's the fun in that?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Life will find a way. Going back can be used to create nuclear winter but even then, life will go on.

To completely screw over the world, I would go into the future and acquire the source code for a general AI.

Then the world can be locked down and robots can be built to abuse every human and sentinent being individually, for a very long time.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The biggest killer for indigenous people is said to be infections - bacteria and viruses. Collect some in this time - maybe a cold - and go back and presence will be enough.

It depends on how you interpret "screw over the world", but I guess "you hate everyone" implies humans. If you go back to the first humans from Africa, before spreading out, that may have the biggest impact - significant delay or suppression in development and spread, or eradication.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Go back 1000 years before Europe makes contact with the Americas. Infect everyone and let their populations get wiped out, but give time to recover so first contact with Europe doesn't go as poorly. Also give them horses much earlier.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Bring COVID and HIV to the USA in 1929.

Maybe Zika as well.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Well current events lead me to believe that allowing the orange turd to live would do the job nicely so in the spirit of laziness I'd do absolutely nothing.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I'd sink Cortez's ship.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Go back to the stone age and drop modern steel tools and weapons where a tribe could find them. That tribe would likely become dominant and perhaps change everything.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Land the time machine on top of the first animal to walk on land. Don't even have to get out of the machine.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Kill all the chickens before humans had the chance to domesticate them

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Let the Cuban missile crisis actually happen?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Go back from 2026 to 2024. Report a pet has gone missing and you heard that an immigrant neighbor ate it. Come back to 2026. Book your dream vacation at the Trump Gaza resort.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Tell Hitler to focus on Operation Sea Lion and to leave Russia alone

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (3 children)

If I ever got sick from something like COVID, I'd just go back to medieval Europe and let it spread like wildfire. I guarantee this modern disease would absolutely wipe out a large majority of Europe and everywhere else it spreads in the world. And little to no effort besides waiting for if I ever get it (which I thankfully never have had and hope I never will).

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Much more virulent diseases didn't wipe out Humanity I don't know why that one would.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

"so there's this dude named God..."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

I could skip my next union meeting, I guess...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 weeks ago

Nahhh I'm not messing up my opportunity. Im going back in time and giving John Brown kamakazi drones just before he gets to Harpers Ferry.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Give the ancient civilization ruled by the most evil ruler modern weaponry and explain how it works

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Your plan fails and the proletariat rise up and seize the weapos. You return back to a world of gay space communism.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Lowkey, just travelling back may be enough with the amount of diseases we would carry with us

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Stop Hitler's parents from getting together in the first place.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

We just found Elon’s account here

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