this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2025
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Lord Of The Rings Memes

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Well...

Since they didn't get trapped in the barrow downs (and subsequently saved by Tom) they didn't find the barrow swords, specifically enchanted to be effective against the ~~which~~ witch King.

When merry stabs the ~~which~~ witch king therefore nothing should happen.

literally unwatchable.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

When merry stabs the which king

There's still one more you missed :)

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

"I'm not a witch, I'm your wife!"

[–] [email protected] 49 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Why didn't just Tom wear the Ring as he makes passionate love with his wife, so he can force Sauron to watch.

Sauron, who is a virgin, who never had a gf and was dismembered and reduced to a giant eye by a fucking human would realize he is nothing compared to Tom, whose girth is beyond even Eru Ilúvatar's comprehension.

Wishing to die but unable to kill himself as he doesn't even have a fucking hand to pull the trigger, he would order his orc armies to piss on him, so that the flames of his eye can be extinguished and his mind can be set free of Tom's all encompassing girth. His spirit would be released to the boundless void that ripples and contorts with Tom's mighty thrusts and he would find no solace.

Edit: When Tom thrusts his final thrust and shoots a billion Bombadillos deep into Goldberry's loins, the impact would shatter Sauron's soul into a billion Saurodillos and he would be free. When this happens, not even the wisest can tell.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Babe wake up, new copypasta just dropped.

But also, the ring has no power over Bombadil, so Sauron would see nothing.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 2 months ago (1 children)

He really isnt, outside the plot point of where the dagger that killed the witch king came from.

The Scouring of the Shire, on the other hand...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Those poor Hobbits

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I read the books twice. I will never get those hours slogging through Toms chapters back and he was entirely irrelevant to the plot.

It was like a fever dream that could have been written off as a mass hallucination of the hobbits after Merry and Pippin share some weed they stole from Gandalf.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Me reading all of Bran's chapters in ASOIAF. On rereads I literally just skip his chapters it's so liberating. I just pretend he died when Jamie pushed him out of the tower and the story plays put exactly the same. (Also I haven't watched the show yet no spoilers pls)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

When you watch the show, stop after season 5 and pretend it was cancelled. You will be much happier in life this way. And skip the commentary halfway through season 5 as well...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

After partway through season 6 I told my friends the show had lost it and that it was going downhill (I think it really started with Jamie warping around like travel/time didn't matter anymore). Either way, while people didn't agree at the time, by season 8 it was more than evident.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Canceled after 5? So just like the books.

At this point, I have zero confidence that Winds of Winter will be any good. Even if he ever actually finishes writing it, GRRM is too busy pulling new plot points out of his ass rather than finish the threads he already started.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I will never get those hours slogging through Toms chapters back

And they're so near the start of the book too, before anything really interesting happens. I nearly stopped reading there. (I didn't stop only because I had enjoyed The Hobbit so much.)

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

smh the haters in the comments don't seem to be Goldberry appreciators

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

This Goldberry does not appear to be slender as the willow-wand. This Goldberry be thicc.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Yeah, MTG took some liberties when creating the art for the LOTR characters. I think a lot of people criticized them for being too "woke" in this set.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I think a lot of people criticized them for being too woke in this set.

I think a lot of peoples' opinions aren't worth considering. Namely, anyone that uses woke or dei as an epithet.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Especially considering... I mean LOOK at that picture!!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I'd move a counter from another target permanent I control onto her...

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

That is not how I imagined Goldberry

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I skip all his songs. Page ahead. And I will continue to do so.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Hey! Come merry dol! derry dol! My darling!
Light goes the weather-wind and the feathered starling.
Down along under Hill, shining in the sunlight,
Waiting on the doorstep for the cold starlight,
There my pretty lady is, River-woman's daughter,
Slender as the willow-wand, clearer than the water.
Old Tom Bombadil water-lilies bringing
Comes hopping home again. Can you hear him singing?
Hey! Come merry dol! Derry dol! and merry-o,
Goldberry, Goldberry, merry yellow berry-o!
Poor old Willow-man, you tuck your roots away!
Tom's in a hurry now. Evening will follow day.
Tom's going home again water-lilies bringing.
Hey! Come derry dol! Can you hear me singing?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Hey! Come derry dol! Can you hear me singing?

No.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Tom's in a hurry now.

This is proof that Tom is a filthy fucking liar, everything he does takes forever for no reason at all.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I can relate to that though

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You're a filthy fucking liar too?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

No, I dawdle.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

I'm sure the Tolkien nerds can convince Amazon to make an entire series about Tom.

I mean it can't be much worse than Rings of fucking Power...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Tom's the best you goddamn ingrates

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Anyone who says this is just coping. Hate them if you must, but I would pity them.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (7 children)

I fucking hated the Tom Bombadil character, he's an insufferable annoying twat with all his bullshit singing, I'm so happy he wasn't in the movies.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Wasn’t his purpose to give the readers a break and to give Gandalf enough time to do a misadventure?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

No, his purpose was to show there was a wider world and a deeper history to Middle-Earth than we got to see in the books. Tolkien was dropping hints like that all over the story; Tom was just the biggest one.

It also was the way Merry got his special wraith-killing sword, and it gave a bit of a glimpse into the limitations of the powers of the ring, foreshadowing Sam’s ability to give it up freely.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

It's also the very first time Frodo puts on the ring.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

TOMMM BOMMMBADILLLLL

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Bullshit. Tom is just an obnoxious character.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

I have been an old man at heart since I was a 14-year-old girl. So thank you.