this post was submitted on 07 Nov 2026
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

RULES:

  1. Your post must be a screen capture of a microblog-type post that includes the UI of the site it came from, preferably also including the avatar and username of the original poster. Including relevant comments made to the original post is encouraged.
  2. Your post, included comments, or your title/comment should include some kind of commentary or remark on the subject of the screen capture. Your title must include at least one word relevant to your post.
  3. You are encouraged to provide a link back to the source of your screen capture in the body of your post.
  4. Current politics and news are allowed, but discouraged. There MUST be some kind of human commentary/reaction included (either by the original poster or you). Just news articles or headlines will be deleted.
  5. Doctored posts/images and AI are allowed, but discouraged. You MUST indicate this in your post (even if you didn't originally know). If an image is found to be fabricated or edited in any way and it is not properly labeled, it will be deleted.
  6. Absolutely no NSFL content.
  7. Be nice. Don't take anything personally. Take political debates to the appropriate communities. Take personal disagreements & arguments to private messages.
  8. No advertising, brand promotion, or guerrilla marketing.

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[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago

a diagram, using ASCII representation, of the sentence

an analysis of the sentence

Your interpretation is not without merit.

So glad these screenshots are in my photo library now.

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 41 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

You would too if you could.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 37 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

Why would OP be unable to lick his cat's penis?

[–] CannonFodder@lemmy.world 14 points 18 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Janx@piefed.social 3 points 17 hours ago
[–] joyjoy@piefed.social 8 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

His own penis, not the cat's.

[–] WarTowel@lemmy.world 12 points 18 hours ago

No, the vet's penis

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago (1 children)
[–] joyjoy@piefed.social 2 points 14 hours ago

Worst date ever

[–] Archangel1313@lemmy.ca 32 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

The fact that human beings are not this flexible is the only reason we get anything done.

[–] bedwyr@piefed.ca 13 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (2 children)

Very few animals jerk off, or even have sex for pleasure. I think it's just some ape/monkey species, and dolphins, but I am sure there are a few others.

Dolphins are horny and kinky as shit, in their way, they get into some weird shit.

Edit: Dolphins don't pleasure themselves though I misspoke, they are just one of the few species that has sex for fun. Plus they fuck some weird poison fish and eat it because they get off on the toxins.

[–] Slovene85@sh.itjust.works 14 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

Dolphins use fish as Fleshlights. They also rape a lot.

[–] PetDinosaurs@lemmy.world 3 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

Yeah. I don't think that's true.

Have you ever had a dog?

[–] bedwyr@piefed.ca 4 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (1 children)

That is what I read from reputable publications. Reputable in this regard if not in all.

Edit: Yes, I have dogs. They lick themselves, but not to ejaculation. Are you implying dogs lick themselves to that? Because I've never ever seen or heard that.

[–] snooggums@piefed.world 2 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

They have sex for pleasure, like humping stuff.

[–] bedwyr@piefed.ca 0 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

There is a distinction there, that science made, believe it or not.

Dogs do hump rather indiscriminantly, my leg is particularly sexy to golden retrievers for instance, that doesn't meet the definition of having sex for fun.

[–] fuck_u_spez_in_particular@lemmy.world 3 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] bedwyr@piefed.ca 0 points 5 hours ago

No dogs, watts are a unit of measurement with electricity, try to keep up.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 2 points 14 hours ago

The noises foxes make during mating was so... unique and frequent, that the furry fandom embraced it as their terminology for sex. So foxes are definitely in that camp as well. And rabbits...

[–] perishthethought@piefed.social 5 points 16 hours ago

So glad I came in to read the comments... 😑

[–] Janx@piefed.social 5 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

My understanding of english is that "the vet" is the subject in the first tweet. As such, they are referenced when the poster added "his own penis" in the second one...

[–] PetDinosaurs@lemmy.world 5 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

This is not an ambiguous statement in standard American English.

It gets a directed reinterpretation with response.

[–] tutter@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 19 hours ago

Nymphomaniac house cat

Incidentally also the name of my new band

[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 5 points 18 hours ago

Have you tried not staring at the cat doing it so much? Staring might be a turn on.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Well okay, so how much money does that translate to?

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

I don't think the cat is being paid for it..

[–] bat_in_hellscape@thelemmy.club 2 points 7 hours ago

I think that's meant to refer to the bill? Maybe? I've seen multiple videos of cats extending their paws when their owner jokes about posing feet for the camera though so who knows