Here's another fun one, from
Awkward Moments (Not Found In Your Average) Children's Bible - Vol. 2: Don't blame us - it's in the Bible!
this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2026
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What I read was two woman saying, "There are no other men around and we're useless unless we make babies." Guess it's both? π€·πΌ
31 One day the older daughter said to the younger, βOur father is old, and there is no man around here to give us childrenβas is the custom all over the earth. 32 Letβs get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.β
It seems relevant to point out that the "Philistines" were Palestinians
In terms of region and name, sure, but probably not in terms of distinct ethnicity and culture. Philistia was most likely a mix of Greek immigrants and Canaanites, but they got totally absorbed by the Babylonian empire -- there's no direct cultural inheritance.
Fair point, but I think it's a relevant historical mirror. Israeli government references the fight against these Palestinians constantly, in the context of genociding the current day ones.
Israeli government references the fight against these Palestinians constantly
I didn't know this! I feel my context makes that even more absurd; even if a historical feud justified their actions in the slightest, which it obviously doesn't, it's not even the same cultural or ethnic group.
And that they are a semitic people as well, so killing them would be anti semitic
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Ya. Thats why Palestinians call Palestine 'Falasteen' nowadays. Its the same place with the same name.
If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life.
King was probably like "Holy shit he actually did it. I'd better give him my daughter before he cuts my dick off".
In all seriousness, there is some fucked shit in the Bible.
The same David that later sent a man to die in battle so he could steal his wife?
It's cool. He was really sorry for it after he was called out.
And God punished David by...
Checks bible
Having his 10 wives raped. Hmm. Really showed him.
This always gets me. Christians get on their knees and worship this guy who might rape their wife if they disappoint him
The Old Testament is a treasure trove of such things
Times were WILD
The Philistines on the battlefield watch as David goes about his work with great enthusiasm.
Rationalism it was: instead of bothering with heads they proved the number with foreskins. Much lighter and safer to store for longer time.
I think the reasoning is that since Jews lacked foreskins but their neighbors the philistines had them, bringing the foreskins showed that it was not Jews you went out to kill. It's like if you wanted someone to kill 100 rattler snakes and as proof you bring 100 rattlers as that's their distinctive body part.
So we actually have found some logic in Bible? Unexpected...
I mean, the "logic" that led to the Israelites not having foreskin to begin with isn't exactly rock solid.
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Historically, heads werenβt all that common. Usually only for specific bounties where youβd need to show it was the right person.
For more general things, scalps, ears, and fingers were all far more common.
I mean think about it. Itβs gruesome enough on its own. But, fondling dead guy dick isβ¦ especially unpleasant. (And they probably stank.)
"Especially unpleasant"
After the first five they wouldn't even flinch. No different than taking a scalp, or the head. A veteran warrior would already have done so much worse, this would be an easy task.
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Well thatβs fucked up
So was this kinda like pork rinds back then?
Calamari
Only when they died in boiling oil.
There are limits to what people will do to help their friends get laid. We haven't found them yet, though...
Search said it was this one, but I'm not 100% on that.
Edit: Replied to wrong comment on accident.
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100 extra foreskins? That's quite the tip!
Badum tsss.
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