this post was submitted on 07 Oct 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 9 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Parents are projecting when they do this. I hold this thing and it brings me such joy, here, you must feel this joy.

Many people without kids who have never held a kid at most feel a little curiosity at the new experience, but don't feel that mass of endorphins that the parent or previous parent gets when holding a newborn.

Until I had my own, holding someone else's kid was to appease them, not because it made me overflow with joy.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago

I've got a kid and had that nervousness. I remember when we left the hospital, it felt like it was too easy, like "we just made this kid, an actual person, and you're just letting us leave and take it home with us!? Isn't that irresponsible??"

[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@anarchist.nexus 11 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Seriously I absolutely do not understand putting your child's safety into someone else's hands for shits and giggles. Like I'm honored you trust me that much, but...maybe don't trust my feeble body lol 😆

[–] socsa@piefed.social 1 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

It's a trap. The moment you hold the baby on your own, it steals your soul and gives you brain chemicals to make new babies. That's how baby is formed

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 18 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

Parent: "You won't"

Lemmy User:

[–] socsa@piefed.social 3 points 10 hours ago

YOURE NOT MY SUPERVISOR

[–] Plastic_Ramses@lemmy.world 3 points 11 hours ago

This aint my dad its a cell phone!

[–] socsa@piefed.social 2 points 10 hours ago

Just a little drop. Just to see how it feels.

[–] tomatoisaberry@lemmy.world 14 points 17 hours ago

I always reply with, "No, thanks, I've already eaten."

[–] cronenthal@discuss.tchncs.de 28 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

Actually happened to me. Not a full drop, just head on table. I was never offered a baby to hold again.

[–] Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 19 hours ago (1 children)
[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 9 points 18 hours ago

If it was just head, they never would have had the baby in the first place.

[–] socsa@piefed.social 1 points 10 hours ago

Are you looking for an apprentice?

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 3 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Sometimes they do get dropped. Just look at JD Vance.

[–] sidebro@lemmy.zip 3 points 12 hours ago

Should have dropped him harder

[–] spacegoat@lemmy.world 18 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I hate holding babies. I don’t want to hold your baby

[–] cass80@programming.dev 12 points 18 hours ago

I refuse as well. When asked why I say it's too much of a liability. The unspoken part is I don't care enough to take the chance.

[–] Scuzzm0nkey@lemmy.world 1 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

Everyone drops a baby, it's how you react afterward that's important. I'm a fan of scooping them back up before anyone notices personally.

"Hey can you hold my baby?"

"Sure.. for a bit"

[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago

"You won't" is a thing bad parents say right before their friend who was nervous or disinterested in holding their baby, drops it.

[–] notnowimbatin@fedinsfw.app 7 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

What if he knows I used to be a giant piece of shit?

[–] PM_ME_SOMETHING@fedinsfw.app 2 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
[–] StabbingSky@lemmy.zip 4 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

They still are a giant piece of shit, but they used to be too.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

I'm afraid StabbingSky thinks people can't change.

[–] StabbingSky@lemmy.zip 1 points 11 hours ago

It was just a Mitch Hedberg reference.

[–] capt_wolf@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

Dropped one once. Was mid transfer with his sister and he decided to start squirming. Reflexes kicked in and I caught him mid fall. That was over 20 years ago and I'm still terrified.

[–] TrackenDaKracken@lemmy.world 3 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

It's not as scary as it seems, and quite a bit of fun.

Don't be afraid to try.

Source: Am dad. But, it's been a long time since I held a baby. Not that I think anything has changed about it in the intervening years.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 2 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Then you're legally responsible for the death of a child.

Don't worry tho, you're legally responsible if your actions or lack of care kill anyone - you should be used to it be now.

[–] StabbingSky@lemmy.zip 3 points 15 hours ago

Infants are pretty bouncy, so it'll probably be fine.

[–] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 0 points 15 hours ago

Yeah, I'm good.