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Today is my best friend's birthday, he lost his battle with depression, alcohol, and religion almost 4 years ago (slrpnk.net)

submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by nocturne@slrpnk.net to c/nowhereelsetoshare@sh.itjust.works

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I met him in '99 when we were barely more than teenagers playing EverQuest.

Two years later he was the best man in my wedding.

Despite living a country apart, me in Baltimore, him in Seattle, we kept in constant touch. We talked almost every day, we gamed together for years.

Then he hurt his back and he turned to alcohol for relief and comfort. We slowly started to communicate less and less. Daily calls turned into weekly, into monthly. Then his wife left him. When he got out of rehab we picked up where we left off. But it was already the beginning of the end. He struggled with alcoholism until the day of his suicide.

I tried to get him help for his depression, but his family is jehova witnesses, so they just talked to a church person who basically said, cheer up and stop being depressed. He had an extremely close relationship with his mother, and I think if I could have gotten him away from her, and the church I could have gotten him the mental help he needed.

I miss him every day.

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[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 32 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I don’t think you should blame yourself.

He sounds like a wonderful guy. I’m sorry for your loss.

[–] nocturne@slrpnk.net 17 points 5 days ago

Thank you.

[–] Caption_Mo@reddthat.com 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Sorry to hear that. On the one hand, I can only imagine what he was going through all those years. And on the other hand, there's your own pain and sense of guilt, always thinking if only. My condolences

[–] nocturne@slrpnk.net 5 points 5 days ago

The last year or so i was paying his rent, and a lot of his bills. He was a master electrician and made great money, but he was in to much of a depression to go to work. I tried to get him to move in with me in new Mexico and start his own electrical business.

[–] Bonje@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

What would you tell them if they only had their grandfather and father who are stuck together because they are 15 years naturalized immigrants and now find themselves in a totalian regime take over with a dead end job that might stop existing in a few months and is being taken over by AI and had no one else to lean on because they spent their adolescence on education and the one psychologist they went to wasn't helping BUT they didn't substance abuse played Guild Wars 2 instead?

Asking for a friend.

[–] nocturne@slrpnk.net 7 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

I would say, " Hey man, want to play some Guild Wars? It has been a while, gotten anything cool lately?" And go from there.

[–] Bonje@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

They've been on and off with as motivation blows. Just to Lions Arch. Stuck stubbornly trying to get to the top of Aetherblade airship for the Diving goggles. But mostly map complete with almost no progress on the story.