this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] FreddiesLantern@leminal.space 30 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Hey now don't oversimplify it!

We all know about Joseph Smith and the stones in a hat.

[–] fyzzlefry@retrolemmy.com 9 points 6 days ago (3 children)
[–] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 18 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The origin of the Mormon religion is practically a parody of itself. It's also a sterling example of why education is so important in developing people's critical thinking skills so they aren't all credulous morons.

There's this great video of the previous head mormon sticking his head in Joe Smith's hat.

[–] Furbag@pawb.social 14 points 6 days ago (2 children)

In case you are unaware of the story of the origins of the Mormon faith that Mormons actually believe, go look up the South Park episode titled All About Mormons. It gives a pretty brief overview of everything, including the stones in the hat.

It's quite a funny episode, tbh.

[–] jestho@lemmy.zip 5 points 6 days ago

Smrt smrt smrt smrt smrrrrrt

[–] BlueberryWalnut@sopuli.xyz 3 points 5 days ago

I'll never forget watching that episode with my (non-mormon) friend, his (fresh-convert) brother, and said brother's (raised mormon) girlfriend. After the episode ended we naturally wanted their opinions on it, and girl straight up said -and this is verbatim- "It was pretty close. Joseph Smith didn't read from under a hat, it was more of a shawl, but otherwise it was good"

Speechless.

[–] jestho@lemmy.zip 12 points 6 days ago

Dum dum dum dum duuum

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 19 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Mine is when the Israelites slaughtered entire cities and then they made kids sing about it at Bible Camp.

[–] robomuffin79@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

They still do it to this day

[–] Mulligrubs@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

... and so does Islam and Christianity, it's crazy!

what do they all share in common? It's a pickle

(hint: it's tax free)

[–] Delusions@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 5 days ago

(hint: it's tax free)

Child support?

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 12 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Can you cite these passages? Because from my memory, when he's praying alone, the content of his prayer isn't recorded and that barely happens at all. There are other things that show that the gospels aren't historical but please stick to the facts.

Edit: I was wrong, it actually does happen:

Then he said to them, β€˜My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.’ Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, β€˜My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.’ Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. β€˜Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?’ he asked Peter. β€˜Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.’

Matthew 26;38-41

[–] adjectivenoun@lemmy.world 17 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Also notable:

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised

  • Brannigan 3:5
[–] smeenz@lemmy.nz 2 points 5 days ago

Death by snoo snoo!

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 17 points 6 days ago

Mine is the part where Moses went up the mountain, tripped balls for a while, write down some laws, came back down and threw a fit because the people had relapsed into their old religion, and smashed the law tablets like a dumbass.

[–] NABDad@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

What you don't realize is the holy spirit was spying on them, recorded the conversation, and sold it to the local tabloid.

[–] Heikki2@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago

It was really the flock that watched them

[–] magnolia_mayhem@lemmy.world 13 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Just the fact that he needed to talk to him is a problem enough. I was raised with the understanding that they were the same person.

[–] Demdaru@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago

Being, not person. Maybe schizophrenics are actually the closest we got to gods image xD

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Wait no I changed mine it's when they put Jesus in a hole, then put a giant wheel of cheese in front of the hole.

The reason Jesus ain't come back is he needs our help to eat all that cheese and get out of the hole

[now that I think about it I might be able to start a cult around cheese. I told my wife no more cults, but I didn't promise. Plus, cheese. Maybe she wants to join this one]

[–] agent_nycto@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I hate it when I go and do something and then tell someone about it and they are like "no one else was there so it didn't happen".

I'm not saying Jesus is real or anything but like, he coulda just don't stuff and went back to his boyfriends and been like "hey wild shit I prayed and good was like what up"

[–] Mulligrubs@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago (2 children)

But Jesus was arrested and crucified before he could hang out with his homies, therein lies the rub.

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