What you don't realize is the holy spirit was spying on them, recorded the conversation, and sold it to the local tabloid.
this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2026
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It was really the flock that watched them
Can you cite these passages? Because from my memory, when he's praying alone, the content of his prayer isn't recorded and that barely happens at all. There are other things that show that the gospels aren't historical but please stick to the facts.
Edit: I was wrong, it actually does happen:
Then he said to them, βMy soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.β Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, βMy Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.β Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. βCouldnβt you men keep watch with me for one hour?β he asked Peter. βWatch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.β
Matthew 26;38-41
Also notable:
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised
- Brannigan 3:5
I hate it when I go and do something and then tell someone about it and they are like "no one else was there so it didn't happen".
I'm not saying Jesus is real or anything but like, he coulda just don't stuff and went back to his boyfriends and been like "hey wild shit I prayed and good was like what up"
But Jesus was arrested and crucified before he could hang out with his homies, therein lies the rub.
He could have organised his "schemes" from prison like in those Guy Ritchie movies or something. Dude had some homies for sure
I mean he probably had time it's cool. Sent a group text.
The note-guy name was Bob. But he was quite shy so you won't find many notes about him in the old text.
Mine is when the Israelites slaughtered entire cities and then they made kids sing about it at Bible Camp.
They still do it to this day
... and so does Islam and Christianity, it's crazy!
what do they all share in common? It's a pickle
(hint: it's tax free)
(hint: it's tax free)
Child support?
Wait no I changed mine it's when they put Jesus in a hole, then put a giant wheel of cheese in front of the hole.
The reason Jesus ain't come back is he needs our help to eat all that cheese and get out of the hole
[now that I think about it I might be able to start a cult around cheese. I told my wife no more cults, but I didn't promise. Plus, cheese. Maybe she wants to join this one]
Mine is the part where Moses went up the mountain, tripped balls for a while, write down some laws, came back down and threw a fit because the people had relapsed into their old religion, and smashed the law tablets like a dumbass.
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