I think im going bin laden
this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2026
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TIL that Hitler isn't the "Worst" option for everything lol
Hitler liked Children and Dogs, so "Say Hello to Mr. Adolf, kids!"
I'd pass the Nurnberg check, so Hitler would a solid first-round pick. It's a toss about who would gendercode my kids more between him and Bin Laden. Lindsay What's-Her-Name and P. Diddy are automatic no's.
My three kids are in their 20's. Assuming there are no weapons involved, I'd say they're safe with any of them.
Bin Laden, Hitler, and Combs would each have a rough night. Lindsay would probably be ok. If necessary, they could restrain her without injuring her.
hitler first, second osama
Top left: Lindsay Clancy - Apparently strangled her 3 kids, there is an ongoing process in the US right now
Top right: Osama Bin Laden - Former boss of the Taliban in Afghanistan and responsible for 9/11
Bottom left: Adolf Hitler - Leader of the German NSDAP and responsible for the Holocaust and WW2
Bottom right: Sean Combs aka P. Diddy - US musician, multiple cases of sexual violence and rape, and proliferation of prostitution
I don't know who top left is, but I reckon Bin Laden's the safe bet here
Uncle Adi for sure. Osama would be secod pick.
Bin laden i guess, the other option is a child murderer, a child molester or the corpose of THE nazist soo
Bin Laden is also a corpse though.
Oh right, i almoat forgot about it, then i'd stay home instead
Bin Laden in hefty discussion planning the attack on 9/11
O: "We get on the planes and just do the attack, leave the passengers alone?!! No! We scare the shit out of them!!! They need to feel our wrath and know why it burns so intense!"
One of his aides drops in the room
A: "Mr Osama sir? Some random people from the internet in the future want you to look after their kids."
O: "What? What is this?"
A: "And one guy says he wants to bedate Hitler, ...I have no idea what this is."
All 4. They fight, kids run to neighbors.
Laden, as long as there's no american tower around, the kids should be okay.
Hmm. I think Adolf was not bad to children (or maybe I am missing some information) and debating him would be fun for me, too.
Arabs are usually too patriotic and uninterested in children. Diddy is too diddly. And no idea who top left is.
I think Adolf was not bad to children (or maybe I am missing some information)
I'd argue you're missing an approximate 1.5 million informations.
debating him would be fun for me, too.
You might even get to shower afterwards! 🚿
I believe you don’t understand how Hitler’s mind worked. He was clearly pro-life, just not pro-every-life. Similar to what happens on a daily basis in a lot of countries. Ethnic cleansing was done because of ethnicity, not because of age.
Also about the concentration camps, I don’t know enough about this part. Was it a clear order and idea of Hitler? Or was the idea to get rid of jews, but the infrastructure was not ready for this amount of people, and thus someone like Goebbels brought the idea of just getting rid of them locally? I remember reading somewhere that at the beginning, they tried to deport the people, but soon realized they were not able to do that in a timely manner.
PS: I had to puke a little describing Hitler as pro-life under the circumstances, unfortunately it is technocally right. He loved people, also children. Just hated jews.
The Wannsee Conference didn't contain Hitler, but did include many higher ups making the explicit plans for the Shoah. It wasn't Hitler's first plan, deportation was, but any reasonable understanding of his long term plans would require eventual extermination. He was invading places he had sent Jewish people to.
Also non-Jewish victims didn't get the attempted deportation. Disabled Germans, criminals, communists, queer people, etc faced brutal prison labor and eventually extermination.
Ultimately, Hitler didn't give orders in a way where you can say "he ordered this to happen". He made his desires clear, and let the party vie for his favor. Had they not orchestrated the Shoah, party members would have been replaced with those who would
Thank you so much for this insightful history lesson!
You took my reply way too seriously.
I'm not a historian so I can't really debate this. Of course Hitler was selectively pro-life, the whole nazi shit is exactly that (and why many back then didn't want to see what happened initially - after all the Nazis gave white people "Kraft durch Freude" and holidays for their first time). Same crap happens in the USA right now, and of course many other countries. Though fortunately for democratic US-citizens still fighting the Trump regime is far less competent than the OG Nazis.
"kid-friendly" is a term encompassing all kids though. If you're unfriendly to some kids you're not kid-friendly. This applies to nazis, racists, religious assholes, ableists etc. all alike.
I see, that was some neatly placed irony :)
Was it a clear order and idea of Hitler?
Yes.
Your “Yes” made me suspicious. As expected, it is not a clear yes. Historians are not sure what exactly happened. What they know is, that there were many people part of this whole genocide. Heinrich Himmler was responsible for building Dachau, the first concentration camp. Many others were involved afterwards.
Hitler most likely knew about all of this and let it happen. But it is not known if there was ever a clear order from Hitler, or if it was suggested by someone else.
Just leave them home alone.
Alternatively, you reckon Osama could teach them basic engineering skills? If they are making phone-activated landmines surely they can put up some fun RF experiments.
Osama was also a regular engineer. That was his day job
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