Tell me you've never encountered a swan without telling me you've never encountered a swan:
this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2026
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Those necky cunts can catch these hands too
The local danger noodle not giving a shit, yet I still ran away
When I was a child, we had chickens. Once, when I was five or six, we had a rooster who would chase me out of the yard when I went outside to play. Seeing this, my father held me over the chicken pen as I kicked at the rooster with my little cowboy boots, but the rooster didn't learn.
So he equipped me as a knight, and sent me with a broomhandle sword, a winter coat, and safety glasses to do battle. I fought him from the lowest dip to the highest hill, the Rooster of Cruelty, until I at last I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the hillside.
Never again did he trouble me, and never again shall I let poultry tyrannize me! Ever again shall I ride to war against the avian, fair or fowl; thus is my vow.
Is this Brennan Lee Mulligan?
My grandad had a rooster that always used to attack me when I was a child. One day, Grandad saw him chasing me, grabbed it, put it on the chopping block and chopped off its head. Then he threw it on the floor.
It got up and ran towards me again. Just before it reached me, he finally collapsed.
I still think about it quite often.
Fuck... I might think about that quite often now, too. Holy balls
I need someone to draw a comic of this
I've seen worse plotlines in movies lately.
What a cock! This needs to be expanded into a short story. You have a way with words.
Later that night you ate him for dinner and it was delicious I bet.
source: Former Rhode Island Red Rooster Punter.
Reminds me of a rooster we had when I was a kid. My grandfather was watching us one evening while my parents were out. He'd told them that when feeding the chickens, if the asshole rooster was to jump him, he'd kill it, kinda jokingly.
When they came home that night, the rooster was plucked clean in the sink.
Pure poetry <3
Has shakespear been reincarnated into the modern world?!
I love geese. Roasted, smoked, grilled.......
I learned to fear the Canada Goose when I was bicycle commuting along the Thames tow-path back in the day. However, they are nothing compared to the swans.
As an Australian, I really don't get it. You guys have fucking bears in your country, but geese are the ones that scare people
Edit: oh right the emu war. I get it now
But actually mountain lions, moose, and wolves are worse than bears.
What's worse to walk up on during a hike? A moose or a grizzly? Tough choice
You're more likely to find the moose. The bear just wants foods.
Jokes aside, I think a big aspect of it is "I don't want to hurt the goose." Like if people were in a cage match with a goose, they'd obviously take it down, but you don't wanna just hurt some animal for no reason.
As a lapsed Briton I can confirm there are not in-fact fucking bears living wild on the Thames.
Also as an Australian living in a major city, the animal I fear the most is the human. Especially when they're in the driving seat of a car.
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People almost always refer to "Canadian" geese instead of Canada geese. I will frequently chime in with "How did you know their nationality? Did you check their passports?" :D
Kudos for using the right form!
HONK 👁️🫦👁️
Who the hell let a goose get an Infinity gauntlet?!
Untitled Goose Game 2
Genuinely can't tell which one is supposed to be the goose in this situation
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