this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2026
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When I was a child, we had chickens. Once, when I was five or six, we had a rooster who would chase me out of the yard when I went outside to play. Seeing this, my father held me over the chicken pen as I kicked at the rooster with my little cowboy boots, but the rooster didn't learn.
So he equipped me as a knight, and sent me with a broomhandle sword, a winter coat, and safety glasses to do battle. I fought him from the lowest dip to the highest hill, the Rooster of Cruelty, until I at last I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the hillside.
Never again did he trouble me, and never again shall I let poultry tyrannize me! Ever again shall I ride to war against the avian, fair or fowl; thus is my vow.
Is this Brennan Lee Mulligan?
My grandad had a rooster that always used to attack me when I was a child. One day, Grandad saw him chasing me, grabbed it, put it on the chopping block and chopped off its head. Then he threw it on the floor.
It got up and ran towards me again. Just before it reached me, he finally collapsed.
I still think about it quite often.
Fuck... I might think about that quite often now, too. Holy balls
I need someone to draw a comic of this
I've seen worse plotlines in movies lately.
Later that night you ate him for dinner and it was delicious I bet.
source: Former Rhode Island Red Rooster Punter.
Reminds me of a rooster we had when I was a kid. My grandfather was watching us one evening while my parents were out. He'd told them that when feeding the chickens, if the asshole rooster was to jump him, he'd kill it, kinda jokingly.
When they came home that night, the rooster was plucked clean in the sink.
What a cock! This needs to be expanded into a short story. You have a way with words.
Pure poetry <3
Has shakespear been reincarnated into the modern world?!