The original final solution
this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2026
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Such a swell dude.
Family Annihilator
God: is all loving
Creates an extinction event because he’s in bad mood
"AH CRAP, FUCKED THIS WHOLE RUN UP, TIME TO RESTART THE SIM. FUUUUUUU"
Except we're stuck in the one more turn endgame and things are getting weird
"Getting"?
He's still refining his prompts
Who amongst us hasn't woken up hangry and done some light genociding before breakfast
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Except to Job, he for whatever reason hated that guy and loved to torment him.
A lot of people have jobs they hate
Haven’t you ever played the sims?
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God
Regret
Is God's in-moment regret a part of his plan?
"I need to look like I didn't see this coming."
”God works in mysterious ways ”
Genesis 6:7 he said, “I will eliminate man, whom I have created, from the face of the earth, from man to other living things, from animals even to the flying things of the air. For it grieves me that I have made them.”
God aborts the whole world
Christians: this is fine
Woman aborts one foetus
Christians: burn her, she's a witch
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God: eternal and omniscient.
Also god: surprised pikachu.
I like how God decided to ragequit The Sims game he was playing.
Not only that, but he failed to wipe out the humans and animals. Not exactly instilling confidence...
When I was a kid I used this as an example of the Christian God being a complete monster. Now I look around and wish he'd been more thorough.
Moe throwing Barney out only for Barney to immediately walk in the back door meme
Beginning of the book, he’s already done with us.
Like a streamer who ragequits 90 seconds into his first game because he's not immediately goated at it
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Being fair, I've only been here a little under thirty years and I'm already thoroughly sick of us as a whole. I can't imagine an eternity of it.
Some clever bastard figured out an exploit (buoyancy) and humanity has just been going ham on god’s plan of creating utopia since. He’s just been trying to come up with ways to wipe humanity without a full reset since and the fuckers keep out-engineering and out-breeding his efforts.
Sooner or later he’s going to have to eat crow and reconcile with the god of Jupiter or with Sol to either fling a big rock from the asteroid belt or send a giant solar flare. It’s a hard sell, though. After bragging for so long about creating life, both are a little sick of Terra. Besides, they kind of like that more of Terra’s insane little creations revere them than revere Terra.
“Fuck you, and fuck you, and fuck you,“ (to aquatic life) “you’re cool,” (to last land animal group) “and fuck you. You’re out.”
—— God, probably
edit: punctuation
Man, what a shit deity. So much for "omnipotent" if he can't create shit he won't regret.
Not the fish though. Seems that God was an evolutionist and agreed the transition to land was a bad idea.
Us too buddy, us too
67!
1,105,185,179,339,051,069,340,904,821,109,256,497,792,958,645,880,288,624,051,564,500,008,100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 ?
What about that number?
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