this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2024
352 points (98.1% liked)

Not The Onion

18939 readers
1216 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] seaQueue@lemmy.world 150 points 1 year ago (1 children)

LET'S GET READY TO CRUMBLEEEE!!!!

[–] kambusha@sh.itjust.works 45 points 1 year ago

TRUMP SLAMS LINDA INTO THE EDUCATION SECRETARY POSITION.

[–] BonerMan@ani.social 97 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Second biggest individual doner for trump... Interesting.

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 54 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Damn I could go for some doner

[–] BonerMan@ani.social 28 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yeah a döner would be cool.

[–] MattTheProgrammer@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

I've got a böner for döner

I thought amaybe she a doner the most thingsa for Donna’ Trump. Wahou?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works 86 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Reminds me of Dolores Umbridge. Why do they all remind me of Dolores Umbridge?

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 48 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Because despite the fact that Voldy was Harry's nemesis via prophecy, Umbridge was everyone's nemesis. Just out of spite.

She was worse.

[–] absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Imelda Staunton did an amazing job of playing such a vile character. She really nailed the lawful evil nature from source material.

[–] chuymatt@startrek.website 5 points 1 year ago

She plays vile so incredibly well. I think it was Gypsy that I had to turn off and take a break from, as she was so horrible (the character, not the acting).

[–] elucubra@sopuli.xyz 55 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They are on track to bankrupt The Onion

[–] Big_Boss_77@lemmynsfw.com 12 points 1 year ago

That's their game plan to prevent the Onion from purchasing the infowars domain

[–] realcaseyrollins@thelemmy.club 50 points 1 year ago (2 children)

How long is the education secretary gonna be there if we're getting rid of the department of education?

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 year ago

Let's make bets on how many rounds!

[–] atzanteol@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

Well, the department of energy is still around.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

between this and dr oz, is he just hiring people he knows from tv?

[–] Schadrach@lemmy.sdf.org 39 points 1 year ago (3 children)

He appears to be picking people from one of three lists:

  • Republicans with media experience (aka people he knows from TV or social media).
  • Whoever wrote the relevant section of Project 2025.
  • People accused of being Russian assets (mostly just Tulsi Gabbard at this point, but there's a reason she's going to be in charge of foreign intelligence and it's not for our benefit).
[–] Drusas@fedia.io 11 points 1 year ago

Don't forget the rapists.

[–] Decoy321@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

You're also missing a major part, donorship. These picks aren't incompetence as it looks at first glance. They're deliberately picked for regulatory capture. They're going to burn it down from three inside.

Look at Dr. Oz. He got picked because of his wife's family, the Asplundhs. They're going to fuck up healthcare far worse than you expect.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/mattdurot/2022/06/04/the-billionaire-family-behind-dr-oz-is-one-of-the-wealthiest-clans-in-pennsylvania/

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 34 points 1 year ago (2 children)

We're actually going full Idiocracy, holy shit. That's crazy.

[–] ArtVandelay@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago

Except President Camacho found the smartest person he could and immediately put him in charge. We're not even smart enough to be idiocracy.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In case people forgot, President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho was a porn superstar and, relevantly, five-time Ultimate Smackdown wrestling champion.

[–] x00z@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I always see this 'counter argument' but referring to Idiocracy is more about comparing the stupidness than the President.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 4 points 1 year ago

I'm not making any arguments, I'm pointing out that wrestling specifically was involved in the plot of Idiocracy.

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 3 points 1 year ago

It doesn't seem counter at all. Trump is in several Russian porno tapes just ask him, and he was part of WWE multiple times.

So it works in stupidity and his character traits.

[–] Yodan@lemm.ee 33 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Since literally everything in the government seems to be getting dismantled, what companies are going to pick up the pieces for these sectors? If we are drowning in a sinking ship we can at least invest in a life boat to buy eggs with and fight the impending inflation. The goal seems to shift trillions from government funding to private sectors and deregulate to let the friends of Trump get even wealthier.

[–] GhiLA@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Solar is and isn't going to be a future successful asset, because Trump will do everything to devalue it while the rest of the world moves right on to adopting it.

Gold is at an ATH, Bitcoin is at an ATH, oil is a gamble because while Conservatives may push it, the move for renewables is against it.

Metals and materials for computer chips are still worthwhile investments and Ai is shaky unless it pulls a few more parlor tricks.

The only real things I can find that are corrupt and exempt enough from litigation or a recession...

are prisons and weapons contractors.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago

I just read the Oz thing. I fucking can't anymore.

[–] LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] cultsuperstar@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

She donated a lot of money to his campaign. As did a few others that he's appointing to offices. Pay to play.

[–] LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Of course she did

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

Oh hey, surprised devoss didn’t buy it again. I assume McMahon’s platform is more concussions for children

[–] FireWire400@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

Sure, whatever.

At this point, I frankly don't even really care anymore.

[–] Bluefalcon@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Licksrocks@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Exactly, predators protecting predators. I wish Stone Cold would have done his stunner a bit stiff and maybe we could have avoided this timeline altogether.

https://youtu.be/BTjCrWavEuA

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago
[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago
[–] xc2215x@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Things are going to get so ridiculous.

[–] razorwiregoatlick@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Why do we need an education secretary if the plan is to just do away with education all together.

[–] fox2263@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

I think this is the least egregious of all the cabinet picks.

[–] IndustryStandard@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago
[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I JUST posted this in the McMahon seperation thread, fucking hell

https://lemmy.world/comment/13561917

load more comments
view more: next ›